Why not Joe Singer?

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was still in shock. He was relaxing in his hammock after a humungous dinner, reading about how Pressie had gone ahead and picked his own man for the Elections Chair. Why? The picking had taken so long, Satiricus was beginning to wonder whether it was really for the “Electric Chair”. After all, the fella who last occupied the Chair always had his hair standing straight up!
Satiricus started to doze, and suddenly he was reading Pressie’s diary!
Dear Diary,
People are saying I should give reasons for picking Batterson for the Elections Chair, and why I rejected the last list. What is the matter with them? Does a General give reasons to his troops when he tells them to charge into machine gun fire from the enemy? What do they think this is? A democracy?
But you know, dear Diary, I have to tell you everything. When I was doing history research, I was so frustrated that leaders did not record reasons for their decisions.
So why Batterson? There are two reasons. First: for the same reason I have been selecting so many geriatrics for top positions — to make me look young by comparison. Secondly: because just before 2020, when he steps down because of “health” reasons, we will go through the whole list rigmarole with the Opposing Leader and elections will be delayed. Then I will pick my real choice: Who Dunnit.
And why I rejected the last list? Let’s start with that smug Joe Singer. I hated him from the start at Queen’s because of his “Hip” name. Then he did better than me in Army School in England. And was promoted before me every time in the army, finishing up as a Major General and me just a Brigadier.
But the bitterest pill, Dear Diary, was when Hite picked him to be Chief of Staff ahead of me! Imagine, me just an ‘advisor’ who was never asked for his advice!”
And that is why no Elections Chair for him.

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