Wha rain na full

Satiricus was livid. This was a rare state of affairs. Satiricus was an easy going soul. His motto was “tek it easy”. He thought Guyanese greatest contribution to world civilisation was the philosophy captured by the phrase, “throw back”. But here he was, literally jumping up and down. It had to do with the CSEC exams and his son’s results.
“The boy’s at one of these pilot schools,” he complained to the gang at the back-street dive. “Can you believe the minister held back the boy’s results?” His voice rose in indignation.
“Just your boy’s results?” enquired Suresh, sympathetically. “Why the picking on him? Like he one of the bad boys like his father been, eh?”
“This is no time to make jokes, boy,” said Satiricus sternly. “The boy and his mother are going to have a nervous breakdown soon, if the chap don’t get his result.”
“And lemme tell alyuh,” laughed Cappo. “When Sato’s old lady cranky, is nothing fuh Sato!!”
“Is the same blasted thing I’m saying,” said Satiricus with some irritation. “Everything is a skin-teeth with you chaps.”
“Okay… Okay,” said Kuldeep soothingly. “Let’s hear what’s going on.” He continued modestly, “You know my daughter got 10 grade ones from Queen’s?”
“Yes Kuldeep, I know, and congrats and so on,” Satiricus continued. “And that’s the problem. Everybody’s getting their results and my son is in the dark.”
“Yeah, but why?” chipped in Hari.
“Well, you know our Maths and English scores suck,” explained Teacher Samad. “Last December, the minister gave out millions of dollars worth of calculators and so on to these pilot schools to improve their performance.”
“Only in December and dem children write exam in May?” asked Cappo.
“Wha rain na full, dew cyaan full.” “I’ll be glad to know even what the rain filled,” admitted Sato. “But the minister now say no results until she get back all the calculators as things.”
“You shi** ing me!” Suresh blurted out. “That’s like blackmail, man. Did she tell the children and the school this when she hand out the calculators? I don’t remember reading that in the news papers.”
“Well that’s the problem,” explained Satiricus. “Kids used to get books and they never hold back the CSEC results for the books.”
“But you know, Sato,” advised Bungi. “When man done suck cane he does dash husk pan de ground.”
“Listen Budday,” retorted Satiricus heatedly. “The ‘taking back’ and the results are two different things. My son took back his calculator. The minister shouldn’t hold the results at ransom.”
“But Sato,” interrupted Hari. “Yuh gat fuh blow yuh nose where yuh stump yuh toe. You’re a newspaper man. Write a letter to the minister.”
“My friend, by the time, I hear anything,” said Satiricus “my wife and son will be living in Berbice mad house.” “And Sato gon be deh before, because he na get nothing fuh weeks!” grinned Cappo.
“Well, me can always tek de Bai wid me to de backdam if the result hold up forever,” suggested Bungi. “GuySuCo gat plenty vacancy!” “Maybe the minister is trying to help out agri culture?” asked Satiricus. “I’ll tell that to my wife and son.”