Satiricus is nothing if not a patriotic Guyanese. His navel-string is buried here and to-help-me-God, he would do anything to help his native land. And so it was, with today (Sunday) being “International Day for Disaster Reduction”, his furrowed brow was testimony to the deep thought he was applying to the question of how to reduce disaster in Guyana.
He’d long realised that deep thinking didn’t come naturally to him and so, with discretion being the better part of valour, he retired to the back-street bar to discuss the matter with the boys.
“Guyana don’t have too many disasters like them Caribbean islands, you know,” pointed out Hari. “No volcanoes, no hurricanes, no earthquakes…”
“Hold it right deh!” exclaimed Suresh. “Like you sleep through the earthquake Friday night, or wha?”
“What earthquake?” snorted Hari. “Is the same thing I talking about…we don’t get disasters and we think a lil tremor is an earthquake!”
“Budday…two of me wife ware plates slip off she shelf and broke. Is a real disaster I got this morning.” Suresh did look harassed and he was putting away the beer quite faster than usual. “The woman crying she eye out and everything.”
“Well, me na know about alyou,” interrupted Cappo. “Dem islands got earthquake and so on…but we had de biggest disaster fuh ever hit de Caribbean – Burnham!”
“You, rite,” grinned his pal Bungi. “After Burnham done wid we, was worse than any hurricane!”
“But he dead now…,” pointed out Hari.
“Well you know what he said,” interjected Teacher Samad. “As soon as one Rasta dead another gon rise up to take his place.”
“An look who tek he place – Mook Lall!” Cappo rose from his chair. “Dat chap a wan mo big disaster fuh Guyana dan Burnham!”
“You got a point there,” said Teacher Samad. “Let us count the ways…backtracker?”
“Damn right!” agreed Kuldeep who had come in late. “His people beat me cousin black and blue when she lil late wid she payment.”
“He carry news pon he friends at de U.S. embassy,” added Cappo. “Dat is de lowest of de low. Mo low dan a snake belly!”
“The man stain Guyana name in he paper so much that people don’t want to come to Guyana to visit…much less live,” complained Hari.
“An now we hear he doan pay he tax to de city,” said Bungi. “Even doh he always complainin’ de city dirty.”
“Man, Mook Lall is a walking disaster. Maybe we should beg the U.S. embassy to give he back he visa, so he can move to New York,” said Satiricus. “They know how to deal with disasters.”