The RaamJhaat Diaries

Satiricus couldn’t believe his luck. His wife’s niece – three times removed, but who’s counting under the circumstances – belonged to a maid service. Guyana had certainly come a long way! The service was provided to the opposition big-wigs, who yet complained they were underpaid. Anyhow, Lilawatee – such was the name the niece answered to – had brought RaamJhaat Tan’s diary to Satiricus.
She knew her Uncle Sato was a newspaper hack and once it was promised she could have it back in a jiffy she was pleased as punch. Her Uncle Sato, of course, would give her a ‘small piece’ which, if the truth be told, wasn’t so small. So Satiricus read the last entry:
Dear Diary,
You wouldn’t believe the blasted mess this Naga Man and NoGel Huge got me into! I always know NoGel would try to show me down. Is not only he size huge, you got to see his EGO! Ever since that cretin Kiss Soon tell him he is the new Walter Rodney, the man can’t stop quoting old Reggae songs! Well, he gon find out soon ‘who shot de sheriff”!!! That Jamaican man on the inquiry hundred time more dread than he.
(Excuse me, Dear Diary, I had to take a drink.)
But is Naga Man I can’t believe. The man is a real nimaakaraam! Big old man like he trying to be lawyer! Is sorry I sorry for he, make me take him into my office. I show him how to rob poor people who come to you for simple things like transport! Collect from the company and collect again from the poor people!!! Anyhow back to his down low behaviour. No! Not “down low” – just low down behaviour. He plotted with NoGel to give a 48-hour ultimatum to the government, without consulting with me. Now everybody in Berbice – even me Mamoo on 43 Village – blaming me for all them people who get beat up and rob at Agricola! Is what the hell me gon tell them?
(Excuse me again Dear Diary. I had to take another drink. Don’t mind the drops that fell on you. I’ll wipe it off.)
But tell me something, Dear Diary. How could Naga Man do this to me? He backing NoGel for presidential candidate, just because NoGel promise him prime minister position. He know I wanted to be the presidential candidate again now that Trot Man left. Incidentally, Dear Diary, you see how all his ‘sick’ done now that he get big job?
He don’t know these town people. They smile in front you face but as soon as you back turn, they slip in the knife! Is the same thing the Don had told him: he gon get larwaah, in the end. I don’t like the Don, but he know these people.
Well good bye for now, Dear Diary. I have to go take another drink.