Stirring Sugar

Satiricus likes sugar. It is not that he is a ‘sweet man’, but his cuppa tea must have its two or three spoons of sugar stirred in.

So Satiricus takes an interest in what goes on in sugar. When the fellas in the cane fields start to down their tools, he began to feel withdrawal symptoms just thinking what might be down the road. More of that Guatemalan sugar that tasted like mud! He was therefore quite grateful that Ram Jhaat Tan and the KFC got involved with the striking workers.

For the life of him he couldn’t believe that the government thought these patriots were fomenting strikes. The government was so not with it! The Jhaat and his comrades were simply trying to ensure Satiricus and his ilk got their sugar fix!

“Ah wha wrang wid you, man?” Cappo the canecutter sounded livid. “Dem chaps just stirring up trouble!”

“What trouble?” queried Hari with just a hint of a twinkle in his eyes.

“You stupid or you just a play stupid?” Cappo wasn’t mincing any words. “KFC just fooling dem canecutters fo’ get dem votes!”

“But you didn’t hear what the Jhaat said? They just collecting information to pass on to GAWOO,” retorted Satiricus smugly. You could tell he took his vested interest in the sugar supply very seriously.

“Yeah! Naga Man said how he and Komah are friends,” pointed out Suresh.

“Wid friends like dat, who need enemies?” concluded Cappo morosely.

“Dem chaps just mean fuh destroy de industry suh deh can blame de PPP.” “But all they doing is listening to the workers!” protested Satiricus.

“Suh whe dem bin all dis time?” countered Cappo. “Abee canecutters always gat problems. Dat is how abee stay. Na matter wha abee get, abee like fight fo mo!”

“Man, you sound like management! Like you don’t want more money?” Hari bantered.

“Listen budday! Me bin in dis thing laang now.” Cappo had gotten quite serious. “Me like mo money, but me know dat it na suh easy. Me na waan lose corn and husk de same time.”

“But in case the industry close down, you got Kiss Soon lecturing to alyuh!” Suresh smiled.

“You could always teach at UG!” Even Cappo chuckled. “Dat chap doan know he ass fram he elbow! When dem bais tell him about de cane pan de “dam bed”, he think dem a cuss dem bed! Damn bed!!” The table cracked up. Bottles clinked.

“De man write dat dem bai tell he Jagdeo call he ugly?” Bungi got into the gaff. “But what de fella seh was, ‘Ah hear Jagdo seh yuh ugly. But you so ugly, you gon give Freddy Kruegger nightmares!” More clinks.

“OK fellas. Let’s get back to sugar.” Satiricus looked at Cappo. “If KFC poaching sugar workers and not helping GAWOO like they say, why is the government and GAWOO not straightening them out?”

“Bai Satiricus, de government gat fuh do best fuh de whole country,” Cappo smiled. “Dem already get criticise by KFC for putting in Gy$ 4 billion to save de sugar industry.”

“Dis same APANU dat KFC tie bundle wid, bin a tell everybody dat canecutta a get too much money! Abee na fotget.” His partner Bungi decided to have the last word.

Cappo wouldn’t let him. “Day does run till night catch am!”