Some of my best friends…

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to get over to the Back Street Bar. His buddy Cappo had returned from New York, where he’d been holding out for the past year. And “holding out” it was, since he’d been there illegally, having overstayed on his visitors’ visa. And then again, all the beers would be on him!
“Cappo!! Man, you look real shine!” Satiricus exclaimed at his old friend as they gave each other a bear-hug.
“Yuh see de man fancy wris’-wa’ch?” said Cappo’s old cane-cutting partner Bungi proudly. “’e bring waan fuh all abee!”
“Well, let’s take a drink for old time’s sake,” said Hari as he clinked beer bottles all around. “Welcome home, budday!”
“Me glad fuh come back, leh me tell yuh!” Cappo said with a heartful sigh. “E na bin easy in Nyuu Yark.”
“So why did you come back, Cappo?” asked Satiricus, who, as usual, wasn’t the most sensitive soul around.
“Yeah!” said Bungi. “America gat all dem nice, nice t’ing!”
“Budday, da man Trump na easy!” said Cappo feelingly. “Ev’ry day pan de news dem a ta’k how dem guh ketch abee and ship abee back home!”
“Yes, we did hear about that,” said Hari. “We were worried about you!”
“Trump na like immigrants, at-all,” complained Cappo.
“Well, ‘e wife bin a wan illegal immigrant!” pointed out Bungi. “How come dem na ke’ch she?”
“Yes, Trump seh ‘e na gat nuttin ‘gainst immigrants,” said Cappo. “ ‘e seh some a ‘e bes’ fr’en a immigrant!”
“This Bull Khan fella here is better than Trump,” observed Satiricus.
“Wha’ ‘e do?” asked Cappo curiously.
“He admitted he fired a qualified Indian PS,” said Hari. “But he insisted he wasn’t racist. The Indian he fired is his friend!!”
“Now me feel like me deh home,” sighed Cappo. They all drank to that.

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