Shake it, babu!

Satiricus is no prude. After all, he is a Caribbean man.

Growing up on a staple of double-entendre calypsos like Sparrow’s “Mr Benwood Dick” and wining down at Mash how could he be? But he’d been thinking that maybe things were getting out of hand with this new backballing.

Now this had nothing to do with Satiricus’ inability to find a ‘backball’ partner: his wife had told him in no uncertain terms that he was ‘too damn old!” But here was Bench Cack complaining that Minister Eastford had offended him when she “wiggled her butt’ at him and his band of merry protestors. What was the world coming to?

“So Bench Cack vex wan nice Minista like Eastford wiggle she behind pan he?” Cappo cracked up along with the rest of the table. “A whe dis happen?” “Bench Cack and Kiss Soon and the rest of the gang of four were protesting because Eastford supported her contract workers not getting fired by the KFC,” explained Samad. “They were in front of Eastford’s Ministry.”

“Suh leh me get dis straight,” Cappo was still smiling. “Eastford support she workers and Bench Cack protesting? De woman shoulda shake wan stick pan he!” “Shaking she butt was worse than shaking a stick at Bench Cack and he crew,” smiled Suresh. “And Eastford know that.” “Yuh right, yuh know,” agreed Bungi.

“Dat is what ah cyan understand. De minista come down, model in front a dem, den gie den wan lil wiggle and Bench Cack ‘angry’?” Cappo was getting worked up.

” He said the minister was ‘ un- minister- like,” offered Samad.

“Un-minister-like me arse!” exclaimed Cappo. “De lady was just mekking fun at dem. Who deh want she fo act like? Queen Elizabeth?” “Like Bench Cack and Kiss Soon might start whipping women who wear short skirt!”

“OK. OK.” agreed Hari, who’s been listening patiently. “But alyou think is alright for a minister to be shaking she behind in public?”

“Bai is whey uh come fram?” Cappo demanded. “Even Margaret Thatcher bin shake she behind at some reporters one time!” “And she was certainly not as bootylicious as Eastford!” burst out the normally staid Samad. He confessed sheepishly, “All right, I have a thing fuh she!”

“Hari, me friend. This is the Caribbean. We don’t take ourselves too seriously,” Suresh advised. “I think Bench Cack and his friends should lighten up.”

“Not only dat,” interjected Cappo. “He blasted sexist! He don’t seh nothing when he KFC buddies wining up in public!” “Bai yuh gat fo understand Bench Cack,” advised Bungi.

“When Minister Eastford wiggle in front of he, he remember de old song, “The way we were,” concluded Suresh.