Rock Star

Satiricus was agog. And he hadn’t even had a tipple of grog. There in the staid, old, State newspaper, the Kronic, was the blaring headline – “Pressie – Rock Star in Lindon”!!! This was not the old suck-up rag that it used to be when the PPEE were running the show. So the new Editor couldn’t possibly be trying to score brownie points with the Big Enchilada.

“No Siree!!” thought Satiricus. “Hadn’t Naga Man, who’d willingly given up all the paraphernalia of High Office as “Prime Moocher” to become the Poomba of the Press, the Mogul of the Media, gathered all the staff around him and assured all and sundry they were free to write whatever they wanted to?

“This was a new dispensation,” the Whimsical Man had announced in his dulcet voice, while wearing his battle olive fatigues. “You can even say we “blundered”, any time you want!” So Satiricus knew this new headline was on the money. But he’s already suspected Pressie was a man with the moves of a Rock Star. Wasn’t there that famous pic with him doing that slick move like a young Rod Stewart with Naga Man gazing adoringly at him like Elton John? Well…Elton will be Elton…and Naga will be Naga.

But it all now made sense to Satiricus, since that this senior reporter at the Kronic had outed Pressie as a Rock Star. Satiricus had wondered where Pressie kept jetting off to – without a word from his press people. “No… not the WICB water boy,” thought Satiricus, “He services Naga Man, even when he wasn’t doing his Elyon John routine!”

Pressie was jetting off to perform at his gigs abroad. Obviously his performances on stage during the campaign, which had been put on YouTube, had first “trended” then gone “viral”!! Satiricus remembered when an obscure Korean pop-aspirant had received millions of hits with his “Gangam Style”!! Pressie, being even more personable, must’ve made an even bigger impact. Soon Satiricus knew Gayle and Bravo would be breaking out on the cricket field with their “Pressie Style”!!

Gayle would be perfect with the new dance style leaning back with out-turned palms, and swaying to “Bring it on Jaggy Boy!!”

But Satiricus became sad when he realised how Guyanese were narrow minded and bigoted. Just because Pressie was a leader, why couldn’t he do what his inclinations made him do? Why did he have to be all uptight and dour just because he was Pressie.

Haiti’s Pressie was a Rock Star, wasn’t he? And look how well he was performing – both as Pressie and Rock Star.

Satiricus just loved the new team at the Kronic who’s forced Pressie to let down his hair. Even if he couldn’t toss a blonde mane like Rod Stewart, he could always growl, “Tonight’s the night”, baby!!”