Return of the Riggers

Satiricus is aghast. President Ramotar had accused the APANU/ KFC of rigging the last elections! Satiricus is not shocked by the accusation.

He is shocked the president appeared shocked that the APANU/ KFC had rigged. ‘Satiricus’ point being that as an old hand in the politics business, the president should know that rigging was an integral part of the heritage of the PNCEE. Did he think that just because it changed its name to the APANU and now joined with the KFC, it would abandon its birthright? The nerve! “Listen Bai. You gat fo give Jack he jacket.” Cappo was firm. “De PNCEE bring rigging to Guyana! Dem fellas rig so lang dem na know how fo vote if dem na rig.”

“Well, don’t give them all the credit. The CIA Committee 303 trained them well. Not to mention the funds it gave them since 1962.” Samad couldn’t help being the teacher. That was his day job.

“A’right, a’right! Me know dat but you gat fo admit, dem bais was good students,” Cappo said admiringly.

“Dem turn out betta dan de teacha!” ” How did PNCEE rig it, let us count the ways,” Suresh challenged. “Overseas voting! Horses voting in London! PNC got 98 per cent.” “Proxy!” shouted Bungi.

“Remember how one man coulda vote fo 10 people?” “Postal voting!” contributed Hari.

“Padding de voters list!” was Cappo’s contribution.

“Even people who dead fo 10 year coulda vote!” “Voters’ ID!” said Samad. “The Americans printed it for them.”

“Da na count!” objected Cappo. “Dem use de false ID fo vote fo dead people!” “Army seizing the ballot boxes!”

Suresh returned to the fray. “I had an Uncle Sammy in the GNS. Those fellas fingers used to get sore with writing in fake ballots.” “He! He! Well yuh Uncle Sammy na bin so bright. De poll counters use to find de ballots roll up wid rubber bands in bundles!” “And abee use fo find ballot box floating in de canal,” Bungi continued.

“But all of that was ‘wrong and strong’ rigging. That was when the Americans were backing Burn Ham and the PNCEE.” Hari challenged the table. “Big up Hyte! The man introduced the ‘delayed count’ in 1997!” “That counts as rigging?” demanded Samad.

“Well, the man has his agents hold back the Statement of Polls after he saw he had lost big time.” Hari came right back. “The delay gave him the excuse to protest and riot and cut the PPP’s term by two years! That’s rigging!” “Me hear da bin a CarBin wuk,” advised Cappo.

“He bin a study law in Trinidad, and he had fo fly back, quick quick.” “Ok! Ok! Take a bow!” Samad conceded to Hari.

“That was how CarBin became chief.” “So why Donald upset? You know what them old people does say about ‘dogs that suck eggs’? And CarBin is still around. He’s the oldest dog of the lot”

Satiricus returned to his original question. “Well, Donald is an optimist. Look at how he brought all of them opposition to the table. He’s just disappointed.” Suresh explained.

“Who he most disappointed wid is dat Ram Jhaat Tan and Naga Man go alang wid de rigging’,” concluded Cappo.