Read a book…

Satiricus always liked books. But from an early age he suspected books didn’t like him. But he persisted. And he figured he could read most books pretty good – once they were about people. Satiricus liked reading about people. His goal was to read people like a book. So at 11: 00h last Monday, when Education Minister Priya Manickchand called on everyone to read a book, Satiricus decided to read the Jhaat. Like a book.
My life as a Jhaat
Me name Rum Jhaat. Ah use to be in the PPEE. But then Ah hang me hat where me hand cyaan reach. And ah had to leave without the hat. Ah get the hat after ah turn lawyer and ah think it gonna make me leader.
Burnham was a lawyer, no? Well, at least ah think it gonna make me rich. And then ah could be leader. So ah use the PPEE name to get all kinda clients from the countryside.
But no matter how hard ah try, no body see me like a big time lawyer. Like the Doods. Is all kinda small cases ah getting. But ah stick it out in the PPEE or else it was gonna be starvation time.
And ah became a drinker.
Also, because ah figure with all them old men around, when the Big Man gone, ah woulda get me chance.
But what mek me real vex was when the Old Lady pick Jagdesh over me for president. The man younger than me!!! OK. So she did bail me out a couple of times when some country people complain to she that ah overcharge them. OK. More than a couple of times. You got to catch you hand when you can catch you hand.
Ah so vex ah wanted to flounce out right away. But ah remember ah coulda get another duty-free car. So ah didn’t move from me PPEE seat until ah get me car and ah sell the other one for a good profit. In the meantime, ah start to carry news to the Americans. What ah didn’t hear, ah mek up. The Americans like juicy gossip.
Then the Americans hook me with The TrotMan. They fund we and lend we a fella doing polling by the name of “Dick”. He tell we that we gonna win the election. And we believe he. Ah buy a new suit for the swearing in.
Ah cuss too bad when all we get was a handful of seats. But at least ah coulda get a new duty free car.
The next election me old buddy Naga Man join we. And NoGel, who always used to look down he nose at me as a lawyer. Ah could never figure out why he join we. But now ah know: was to earn US$ 5 million as a spy in we KFC party.
And what hurt me more than anything is he didn’t share a cent with me. So now ah lose corn and husk… because everybody laughing at we.
Is back to hustling clients from the countryside.
The end