Radyo Licence

Satiricus admitted that he was a softie. What could he say? He didn’t like trouble or ‘jhanjat’. So when he saw his old pal Mook Lall, from the big market days so heated up about not getting a radio licence, he decided to do some checking. After all, as an old newshound, he did have his ‘sources’.
So he ambled over to the new Broadcasting Authority where an old pal, Scrungie, had been seconded and explained the situation.  Scrungie grinned broadly, “That gon cost you, you know.”
“So you still drink that old El Dorado?” enquired Satiricus delicately. Scrungie had a ‘drinking problem’.
“You crazy, Sato?” exclaimed Scrungie indignantly. “Is Grey Goose down the line, now boy!!!”
“Awright. So what you could tell me?” said Satiricus expectantly.
“Remember the boss tell everybody who want radio licence to apply?” Seeing Satiricus’ nod, he continued. “Let me show you Mook Lall application and you gon understand why he gon wait long.”
Satiricus quickly read the letter:
Dear Miss Shadee,
How na gyaal? Remember me? Is Mook Lall. We used fuh crass wid de ferry from de islands in de old days. Me fram Wakenaam. Remember me sell you dem green shoes back in 1991. Me sorry de heel fall out de next day. Me could give you a new pair if you want.
But you musse seh ‘is wha he writing me fah?’ Ah gon tell you. I hear is you giving out de radyo licence nowadays.
I want a radyo station. You mussie hear dat me gat me own newspaper. Doan mind dem a seh dat me na know “B” from bullfoot. I know plenty. I know dat if me own a newspaper me qualified fuh run a radyo station. I in de communication business. You didn’t think I know about “communication”, eh?
Like me seh, me know plenty.
Dem also seh dat because I do backtracking, you na gon give me de licence. But Bibi Gyaal, you know how I help people back in de islands wid me backtrack money. I buy rum fuh all dem bais from Wakenaam.
But lemme tell you a next reason why you should give me de radyo licence. I know plenty big people in town, you know. I know de American ambassador. I does tell he everything he want fuh know. He tell me he ‘debriefing me’. I does call it gyaaf.
Dem bais seh dat me gat fuh full out some technical things like frequency and so on. But you know all dat is stupidness. Me know dat in radyo all you gat fuh do is talk to de mike. Is wha technical about dat?
So Bibi, tell me when fuh pick up de radyo licence and me guh bring some shoes fuh you. All right gyal?
The Big Mook,
Mook Lall fram Wakenaam.
Satiricus took one look at the grinning Scrungie, got up and started to leave.
“Don’t forget the Grey Goose!” he called out cheerily.