President and illegals

Satiricus, like most Guyanese, is following the U.S. presidential elections rather closely. Fervently, even. He couldn’t imagine that four years has already gone by since Obama had become the first man of colour to become president of the U. S. But to tell the truth, he was a wee bit disappointed. Well, more than a ‘wee bit’. He was very upset. He’d expected so much more from Obama. Well at least that he’d do something for all his illegal relatives in New York.
“Bai Sato, tek it easy!” consoled Cappo. “Me always tell yuh. Obama only a one man – he na God. And even God cyaan change America!”
“But he said he’d change the immigration laws and make illegals stay!” moaned Satiricus. “Now my mother-in-law might have to come back.”
Everybody around the table looked commiseratingly at Satiricus: they’d all felt the whip of the old battle axe’s tongue. She’d been a terror in the village when they were boys.
“But the man did say his biggest disappointment in his first four years was that he couldn’t pass the immigration bill,” Suresh pointed out. “He tried to keep your mother-in- law!”
“Imagine all the man saying is people who wukking to build America could stay,” Kuldeep said sadly, “and Americans don’t want that”.
“And de people do wuk Americans neva guh do!” said Cappo in amazement. “If dem send back dem people, America eat sh**!”
“Budday, is a game them Americans playing with illegal immigrants,” interrupted Hari. “They never gon send them home – but they never gon give them green card.”
“Why the hell would they do that?” asked Suresh in wonder.
“Is just mean they mean?” “Got nothing to do with meanness,” explained Hari. “Is all about money! When you illegal and work, they take out social security every paycheck. But when you get old you can never collect you social security.”
“So dem millions a illegal people guh support millions a American old people!” yelled Cappo. “Smart, budday, smart!”
“And you, Sato my friend, gon have to support your mother-in-law,” threatened Kuldeep. “So you think this Romney fella could win this thing?” Kuldeep quickly changed the subject when he saw the look in Satiricus’ eyes. His mother-in-law was no joking matter.
“America’s a strange place,” observed Teacher Samad slowly. “If they could elect George Bush even one time, they could elect more than Romney. And they elected George Bush two times,” he concluded in wonder.
“Romney playing the race card,” said Suresh. “He convinced the racists he’s going to be tough on immigration. He said if illegals have no skills, they should be deported!”
“That means your mother-in-law, Sato!” chuckled Suresh. “Unless you count non-stop yelling as a skill!” Even Satiricus smiled.
“Romney reminds me of that story my cousin told me,” started out Hari in the new relaxed mood: “A cannibal walked into a restaurant in the jungle. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu… + Tourist: $ 5 + Broiled Explorer: $ 10.00 + Fried Democrat: $15.00 + Grilled Republican: $ 250.00. The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the Republican?” The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of sh* t, it takes all morning.”