Out of the Closet

Satiricus is proud of Ram Jhat Tan. After years of denial, he’s finally out of the closet. In the beginning, he used to hit out at “them”; he denied even being one of them. He was different. But deep down Satiricus knew better: he had been around quite a while now. These were just the symptoms of someone ashamed of his impulses; knew that it was not copasetic but just couldn’t help himself. Ram Jhaat Tan was what he was and he loved power: so what was wrong if he now accepted that he was in coalition with APANU?

“Boy, you see how KFC and APANU double-bank Donald?” Hari sounded worried. “I thought Ram Jhaat Tan said he would vote with the PPP if they put forward something sensible.”

“Me friend, me know Ram Jhaat Tan.” Cappo was serious.”De only ‘sensible thing’ fuh him is if Donald mek him president!”

“Suh he think Grain Jah guh mek he president?” Bungi looked astounded. “He jus gettin’ used!”

“People like Ram Jhaat Tan are like crabs-in-the-barrel.” Suresh looked around the table. “If he can’t get to the top, he will make sure he pull anybody ahead of him down.”

“But give de man some credit na. He na gat no way fuh guh.” Cappo wanted to make his point strongly and slapped the table. “Trat Man dun deh wid APANU fuh get Speaker wuk. Naga Man mad wid he because de Jhaat betray he fuh Trat Man. De Jhaat gat fuh join dem!”

“Talking about Naga Man, I can’t hear anything from him nowadays. What’s going on?” Hari seemed to want to move on.

“You right. The man was not on any of the delegations that met with Donald. They treating him like he is a small boy”. Suresh was smiling as he said this. Naga Man wasn’t high on his hit-parade.

“Is all a dem gone. Wheh Baby Jesus Van East deh? Ram Jhaat Tan all alone,” said Cappo mournfully. The table couldn’t figure whether he was serious. “De boy had to jine up APANU”. “Why?” demanded Hari.

“Listen friend. Ram Jhaat Tan didn’t get two vote fram 47 village in 2006. Is Naga Man pull dem Berbice votes and give KFC de seven seats”. Cappo leaned forward for emphasis. “Deh pramise Naga Man vice president and deh couldn’t even give him Speaker. He gone and Berbice vote gone!” “Ah see wheh yuh goin” Bungi finished up for his old buddy. “Suh if he jine up wid APANU he can get a seat next time like Keith Scott!”

“Dats right. And more important, he gon get duty free!” Cappo smirked. “De boy gat he priorities straight, yuh know!” Suresh looked at Cappa and smiled, “You’re a person with an open mind, Cappo. I can feel the breeze from here!”

“Wha yuh mean?” Cappo took the gibe good naturedly. He guffawed.

“Ram Jhaat Tan don’t know Grain Ja. He will never trust Ram Jhaat Tan after what he said about PNC. Ram Jhaat Tan can vote with APANU all he wants. He’d dead meat.” As the table drank to that, Satiricus had his doubts however. He’d seen stranger bedmates in politics. Wasn’t Roop Na Rain, erstwhile comrade of Rod Knee, in bed and under the sheets with Grain Ja?. Ram Jhaat Tan was just coming out of the closet into his natural home.