Old folks’ advise

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was feeling quite good about himself. Even though the fellas had urged him to check out the labour march in town, he’d steadfastly refused. Satiricus figured Labour Day was intended as a reward for those who laboured all year long. Like himself!! And was therefore intended as a day of rest. In his case, lying in his hammock and gently swaying away under his mango tree in his backyard. Duly rested, he ambled over to the Back Street Bar.
“Look! De lazy man come out fram ‘e hammick!” said Bungi, as Satiricus eased into his seat.
“Sato, yuh na shame yuh na march ‘gainst yuh wuk-place?” asked Cappo as he slid a beer towards Satiricus.
“Let me tell you in your own words, friend,” said Satiricus after he took a long swig, “Don’t mind how bird vex, it can’t vex with tree.”
“Like you think about job security, in the hammock Sato?” observed Hari as the other two fellas gaped at Satiricus.
“Budday…I have to feed my children – not to mention my wife Caustic!!” smiled Satiricus. “Can’t afford to lose my job right now, you know.”
“Well me na guh tell yuh nuttin,” said Cappo. “Ev’ry fowl does feed pan ‘e own craw!”
“Since everybody giving you old people advice, you mind if I give you some?” asked Hari in his usual careful manner.
“Sure! Go ahead!!” replied Satiricus amiably. “I know I will hear it whether I like it or not!!”
“You always complaining about how your editor overworking you, Sato,” said Hari. “When man mek ‘eself sugar, he mattie does suck am!”
“But Sato, yuh mean all abbe fr’en dem get fyah fram GuySuCo,” said Bungi. “An’ yuh na t’ink yuh sh’u’d support dem?”
“Yes, Sato,” interjected Cappo in support. “If yuh finger get sore, nah tek am and throw way am!”
“Well, let me tell you something my leader Nagga Man taught me,” said Satiricus “’E nah good to shove yuh foot in every stocking.”
“Especially since HE already stuck his foot into his mouth!” grinned Hari. “Do fuh do nah obeah!”

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