Nursery Rhyme

Satiricus readily accepts he’s a political ignoramus. But it appears that his trade union credentials are not anything to write home about, either. He’d just finished listening to that stalwart of trade unionism – only a footstep behind Critchlow, the father of the whole kit and caboodle – Linkan D’Loud. And Satiricus was confused. Linkan had first of all praised the opposition for cutting Gy$ 21 billion from the budget. Okay, Satiricus knew that Lewis was opposition, so no problem there.

But then Linkan waded into the government for daring to suggest that they might have to ‘retrench’ some workers. He thundered (and lord knows, Linkan “thunders” very well) that such cuts “will not be taken lightly” by labour. But it was not the threat that befuddled Satiricus – that just terrified him. Satiricus well remembers the last strike of 1999 and what happened in Georgetown.

Satiricus’ bewilderment came from his straightforward reasoning: if the government money was slashed, they couldn’t pay all their employees, could they? Some would have to go. Satiricus’ simple mind felt that five-two couldn’t equal five, could it? But here was Linkan, this modern Moses leading workers to the Promised Land, not only asserting five-two= five, threatening mayhem unless the government agreed! Satiricus wondered if this was the new ‘modern maths’ or was a special maths superior minds like Linkan learnt in Trade Union College.

“Linkan blasted wrang and strang!” exclaimed Bungi. “Nutten fo do wid maths. He damn well know yuh cyan get blood fram stone!”

“Listen Budday!” Hari yelled, “If cutting Gy$ 21 billion is no big deal, how come Linkan screaming bloody murder that the government cut the subvention at Critchlow College?” “Yeah, that’s right.” Suresh joined in. “All those lecturers they had to let go shouldn’t ‘take it lightly’!”

Cappo had been listening quietly up to now. “Bai, ayuh gat fuh understand how things does guh in trade union.” He leaned forward to enlighten his pals, even as his eyes were fixed on the bemused Satiricus. “Is nah de students Linkan worry about at Critchlow. De man gat he fancy affice deh.”

“Really?” encouraged Satiricus.

“Yes, really! Me use to guh de wid GAWU when all aawe bin together.” Cappo paused. “De man affice bigger dan de President wan. And wid mo secretary and phone and internet and coffee and so on…” He looked around.

“Well, maybe Linkan believe what Ram Jhaat Tan said, the government can cut back on waste and not fire anybody?” Satiricus was his usual trusting self.

“So why Linkan don’t cut back on waste at Critchlow and rehire those poor lecturers?” Hari wanted to know.”

“And why Ram Jhaat Tan don’t stop taking duty free cars every two years?” Suresh demanded, “If he pay the Gy$ 5 million duty that could rehire some retrenched workers!”

“Listen Satiricus, pick sense fram nonsense,” advised Cappo. “If you cut back how much yuh gie yuh wife, she cyan gie yuh duck curry every Saturday night!”

“Even if like Linkan, yuh threaten fuh knack she down!” chuckled Bungi. “De money just na deh.” “Running a government is not like nursery school,” advised Suresh looking at Satiricus. ” Linkan think Pressie is Little Jack Horner, who put in a thumb and pull out a plum?” ” And especially when dem cut out Jack thumb, like de opposition do!” Cappo laughed.