By Utamu Belle
Although two years have passed since her son was killed after being struck down while riding his motorcycle along the Amelia’s Ward Public Road in Linden, Paulette Sydney and her family still remember it like it was just yesterday.
They are more so reminded with the recent fatal road accidents occurring almost daily across the country. Wilbert Sydney, a former Linden ambulance driver attached to the Linden Hospital Complex (LHC), was only 28 years old when he was killed while riding his motorcycle back in June 2017.
Reports at the time had indicated that his motorcycle had collided head-on with motor car PNN 4510, which was driven by Michael Luckhoo, 21, of Linden. Sydney, a father of two, who resided at Lot 70 Half Mile, Wismar, was reportedly proceeding east along the northern side of the roadway on his motorcycle, registration number CH 5634, when the accident occurred. Several other vehicles were also said to be involved in the accident. As a result of the collision with the motor car, Sydney and his motorcycle were reportedly thrown into a motor lorry, thence to the northern parapet. He was later picked up, along with the drivers of the motor car and motor lorry, and taken to the LHC, where he was examined by a doctor on duty who pronounced him dead on arrival. While the drivers involved in the accident were questioned, no one has so far been held accountable in relation to the accident.
But memories of the accident remain fresh in the minds of his family.
The Sunday Times Magazine recently sat down with Sydney’s mother and his sister Shondell, a nurse attached to the LHC. His sister related that the pain of loss only increased recently as she also lost her nursing batchmate to a recent road accident in Linden involving an ambulance and motor car. The male nurse killed in the accident was also a friend of the family.
“That just brings back all the memories. We just keep remembering he all the time … It’s hard, it’s hard,” Sydney’s mother Paulette related.
She said not a day went by without her thinking of her son. She related that each time she would learn about someone being killed in a motor vehicular accident, she would automatically begin to think about the pain the mothers experience, having been in that position herself.
“I was telling my husband that I could just imagine these mothers, because I was there…When I watch at the parents on the television, I could relate. Every day, every day, it ain’t got a day pass that we don’t talk about my son. It ain’t easy,” she reiterated.
According to Mrs Sydney, her deceased son’s daughter, who is almost four years old now, was only two years old at the time of his death, but she still remembers him to this day.
“He didn’t live to see her go to nursery [school] and now she gone into primary…she stays just like that and start to cry. She remembers all the fun moments she had with her father and she talks about it all the time,” Mrs Sydney said.
She added that the child would also tell the family about her dreams of her father. The child would also remember when her father used to go out and tell her that he would return home. To this day, Mrs Sydney said the child would speak as though her father would return home one day.
“So now she says, ‘don’t lock the door, my father said he coming back’. Sometimes, I would try to talk to her and say, ‘Well, you know your father is dead’. She does say, ‘Granny, you must pray a lot for your son and your son would come back to you. Stop crying and pray’,” Mrs Sydney related between tears.
Her son is also survived by a two-year-old son who was just a few months old when he died. Mrs Sydney said that both children are growing in the image of their father.
His sister Shondell related between tears that she still thought of her brother with each passing day. She said she was comforted with words of encouragement from her friend, who related a story about an entire family that was killed in a road accident. She said the words of her friend were comforting as she was encouraged to be thankful that she still had other family members who were alive. Nevertheless, she said the grief was hard to dismiss.
Mrs Sydney is urging motorists to slow down on the roadways, as she referenced recent accidents.
“This speeding, I don’t know what they speeding for,” she noted, as she expressed her view that motorcyclists weren’t really safe.
Reminiscing, she recalled that her son had kept the purchase of the motorcycle a secret from her until he brought it to Linden. She noted that at the time, she wasn’t too keen on him having a motorcycle, since he already had a car. Mrs Sydney noted, however, that being the fun-loving person that he was, he had used one of his favourite quotes which was everyone should just “live life” after she had raised her concern.
“That is what he used to tell me. I used to say, ‘I don’t want nothing happen to you, because I ain’t know what I gon do’. He used to say ‘Mommy, you strong don’t worry with that; you gonna be alright’. And I lived to see it. Honestly, it took a toll on me for the longest while ‘til now. Now I can sit down and talk about him. At first, whole day I used to lock up in my bedroom,” Mrs Sydney related.
She continued that she could not have ventured into her son’s room following his death. It wasn’t until recently that she mustered up the courage to do so.
She shared that she dreamt of her son for the first time since his death a few days ago. This, she noted, was not surprising since he loved the holidays. Mrs Sydney joked that he enjoyed eating lots of meat around this time. The accident has really taken a devastating toll on the family, as Mrs Sydney explained that she was now fearful whenever she travelled to Georgetown.
“Somehow, like I value my life even more than before,” she related.
Coping with grief
The family agrees that coping with grief has not been an easy task. According to Sydney’s sister Shondell, it is a daily task.
“I don’t know how some people does cope with grief, but when you lose a loved one due to accident – if you know someone is sick or ailing, I can understand – but when you see it’s so unexpected, it is really upsetting. I don’t know if people actually get over losing loved ones, but for me, it’s more than two years since I lost my brother and there isn’t a day that pass that he don’t pass across my mind…it is not something easy. Especially when you remember the kind of relationship that you and this person had,” she remarked.
She related that she has had moments when she would just begin to cry, explaining that the grief was hard to shake, even with time.
“I could actually relate to not eating, not getting to sleep … I tried to be strong throughout the whole process … but I broke down … Why people can’t take their time on the road? Going forward is going forward already. You don’t have to go forward with speed,” she stressed.
Shondell explained that people needed to value their lives and those of others, noting that not even justice could help bring them back once they were gone.
“You might go to court, you might win or you might not win, but nothing still ain’t bringing back your loved one. Some of these people got children that are dependants. Some people got other siblings that are dependent on them and these people’s lives are snuffed out like this. And these drivers, they might go to court and then still get to drive again where they could kill somebody else. People need to be more careful,” she urged.
Shondell remembered feeling the same grief when her co-worker died in an accident recently. She recalled thinking about his family and wondering how they would cope when she got the news.
Mrs Sydney believes that drivers get off too easily when they are involved in accidents which claim the lives of others. She said stiffer penalties were needed for a clearer message to be sent about speeding on our roadways.
“They should take away their licence forever. When they realise that if they hit somebody down and they can’t get to drive back again, they will take caution … we went to court and not a thing ain’t come out of the story. They say they didn’t have enough evidence,” she related.
Mrs Sydney explained that the family was told that too many drivers were involved in the accident and it was difficult to ascertain who was really responsible for it.
Shondell believes that drivers involved in accidents which claim the lives of others should be held accountable.
“It is hard. When you lose a loved one, nobody ain’t checking to see if you get financial assistance or something off of the case,” she noted.
Following the death of her son, Mrs Sydney related that the family received another blow as she also lost a sister who passed away e -route to America after vacationing in Guyana. Months later, she recalled, she lost another sister. Both women had expressed grave concern over the number of road accidents occurring almost daily on the roadways in Guyana. Mrs Sydney encourages drivers to “take their time” on the roadways and to be each other’s keeper.
“Look out for each other. Stop the speeding. That is what does cause them accidents,” she scolded, noting her belief that speed played a major role in her son’s death.
On every anniversary of her son’s death, his friends host a ‘Night of Reflections’ in his memory, where they would reminisce on his life. His mother explained that they would wear jerseys with his image, cook, and share memories.
The family calls for support groups to be set up for families who would have lost their loved ones owing to road accidents where they can receive counselling, prayers and find solutions. Reflecting on their own experience, the women related that such situations could lead to depression. Sydney is remembered as a fun-loving person who was always there for his family and would lend a helping hand to even a stranger in need. Had he lived, he would have celebrated his 30th birthday this past October.
