New backra

Satiricus didn’t like how this holiday business was going: Arrival Day and Independence Day both fell on Saturdays. What the heck was the point of a holiday if Satiricus didn’t get any free time to hang out with the “fellas”? The Americans had the right idea – schedule holidays on Mondays or Fridays! Satiricus envied his pals in New York who’d be having a blast on their Memorial Day weekend. Three days of sporting! So Satiricus and the gang solved the problem the Guyanese way – they all called in sick.

“So what I hear, Cappo?” inquired Kuldeep. “GuySuCo can’t make its target, because you guys don’t show up for work?”

“Budday, let dem talk,” Cappo replied sarcastically. “De higher monkey climb, de more he backside does show.”

“And they said alyou striking all the time,” observed Suresh. “Alyou striking more than Lighthouse match!”

“Dem na talk bout rain, too?” Cappo asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s right. They said that’s one of the reasons for the low production,” intoned Teacher Samad.

“An dem na blame de workers fuh de bad weather?” exclaimed Bungi, Cappo’s canecutting partner in feigned surprise.

“Me shock!” “Ok! Ok! So what’s the story,” demanded Kuldeep. “All of us come from sugar, you know.” “Yep! And don’t forget this whole independence we celebrating, is because sugar workers strike with Cheddi,” encouraged Samad.

“Me friend, yuh should tell da to dem Guyanese Backra maninja abee gat now,” Cappo growled. “Dem men cock up dem foot in office and think dem guh produce sugar!”

“Well, they did say that when the white man gone, awe own people gon take over!” said Suresh not too sympathetically.

“Budday, me na mind if dem tek ova white man place. Give and tek nah robbery,” accepted Bungi. “But dese new Backra only a tek.”

“White man use to go in de field. Dem bin know dat cane na grow in office,” added Cappo. “But why alyou don’t show up for work,” Kuldeep asked.

“Like alyou don’t want money or what?” “Bai, yuh answer yuh own question,” advised Cappo. “You na think abee gat mouth fo feed?

How come dem new Backra na ask dat?” “OK, so tell us,” said Suresh. “Listen, chap. This is independence, right?” Everyone nodded to Cappo’s rhetorical question.

“Yuh think it right fuh dem to tek away all de rights we fight fa before independence?” “But hear na man,” pleaded Satiricus.

“The country needs production and the foreign exchange.” “Well, haan gat fuh wash haan,” said Bungi soberly.

“When lil man put on big man pants, he got fuh tek wah he get,” growled Cappo truculently.

“De new backra na want fuh tek blame fuh nothing.” “Maybe the new minister will change things?” asked the ever optimistic Satiricus.

“Wha rain na full, dew cyaan full,” advised Bungi. “He start out wid blaming already.”

“But if both of you just took a sick day just to sport independence, how you could just blame the backra and de minister?” Satiricus inquired.

“Two tief mek God laugh!” said Samad sagely. Bottles clinked around as Bungi and Cappo grinned sheepishly.