Mook Lall Diaries

Satiricus was abashed. Here he was calling the owner of the Muckraker “Glennie” Lall for the longest while.
But it was only last week he found out from his fellow columnist, the “Bell Crier” that this was just the man’s ‘call name’. Now ‘call name’ is a funny business: some people could get real vex with you if they don’t like the name. So Satiricus will henceforth refer to the man by his real name – as revealed by the Bell Crier – Mook Lall. Nuff respect! Satiricus began to read the latest insertion in Mook Lall’s diary.
Dear Diary, Me ain’t been writing you too much lately, Dear Diary.
Me in big trouble. Ever since that damn Ranroop (Oooooh!! How me hate dat man!!) show how the U. S. embassy pick pon he about dem Cuba editorial but lef me alone, all dem boys seh how is because me still carrying news pon me friends. De embassy got fuh protect me.
And you know, some of me friends not easy! Not easy at all, at all! Dem boys tough and dem boys rough wid people who does squeal pon dem. So me hope you understand why I scarce nowadays. Me want fuh enjoy life some mo’. (Well, de moment me think about ‘enjoy life’, me had to tek a drink, Dear Diary.
Is de only enjoyment me getting nowadays, if yuh know what me mean!) But I got to tell yuh another thing, Dear Diary. I got another plan fuh pull down Ranroop. (God! Ah cyaant stand dat man! He got everything me want. Me jealous too bad.) Everyday in me Muckraker paper, I tell Baddam! fuh put how Ranroop own paper, radio and TV. But that blasted Baddam! gone and put how de man own three media houses. Everybody in de business saying how me na know singular from plural because one media house could own three outlets. Dem boys now seh me na know “B” from bullfoot. Me too shame.
But is Baddam! fault. I pay he fuh do dese things. Me cuss he out too bad. But he always does come back fuh mo’. He like money, because he like to eat and food cost money.
(And I like fuh drink, Dear Diary. So me went fuh a lil “tups”.) Oh yes. Me bin a tell you about me plan fuh Ranroop.
(Dat man does mek me see red every time me hear he name.) Me figure dat if everybody know how much he gat, dem gon feel sorry for me an start like me. Me know everybody got bad mind like me. De moment deh hear another person doing good, dem gon start hating him.
(Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh!…) But me na gon tell anybody dat in addition to me newspaper, Muckraker, me also own Guwana Stores, shopping mall, shoe business, plenty buildings and me backtracking business. Dat is between me and you.
(Yes Dear Diary, me got fuh finish de bottle now. Me got fuh keep low till dem boys forget about me news-carrying.)