Missing in Action

Satiricus was a bit puzzled. This was not an unusual situation for Satiricus. He did admit that he wasn’t the brightest bulb around. But he wondered what had happened to Ram Jhaat Tan? With all the missiles and bottles and fires flying from Linden to Agricola, he’d expected to have the Jhaat, as Satiricus called him fondly, in the thick of things, stirring the cauldron. But here it was only NoGel and Naga Man were taking all the limelight.
“Ram Jhaat Tan is yesterday news,” smiled Hari. “Like you forget, in this KFC business they rotate leaders like Rotisserie Chicken??!!” Everybody around the table chuckled.
“That’s a good one,” agreed Suresh. “The Raam Jhaat is well done. He has to move on or he might be eaten!”
“Budday! Lemme tell ayou something,” interrupted Cappo. “Raam Jaat na guh go just like dat. Dat man want power so baad, he done deal wid de devil!”
“Now, now, now!!! “cautioned Kuldeep. “Not the devil. The man just carry some news to the Americans!”
“But what he gon do with the rotating business?” asked Hari. “He run the last time so he can’t run again. And the man who gon run gat to be African Guyanese.”
“Well, dat is why all yuh hearin about is NoGel,” confirmed Cappo. “But NoGel na know who he dealin’ wid!”
“Wha yuh mean?” asked his cane-cutting partner Bungi, as everyone leaned forward.
“Cow deh a pasture he nah remember weh dog and butcher deh till he see am,” replied Cappo mysteriously. “De Jhaat and he buddy Naga Man just settin’ up NoGel wid all dis protest in Agricola.”
“How de arse you know all dis?” complained Bungi exasperatedely.
“Every best friend gat a next best friend!” exclaimed Cappo. De Jhaat like fuh drink too bad. Me Poopah son a sell a de rum shop!” He grinned delightedly.
“So what is the plan,” asked Suresh, who knew as a salesman the power of the rum- shop grapevine.
“No big thing!” exclaimed Cappo. “De gon just leh NoGel run he big mouth till people see he like wan next Bench Cak! De new Wild Man!”
“Kiss Soon, Ram Jhaat best friend, doing his friend a favour,” pointed out Suresh. “He always tellin NoGel how he is the new Rodney who gon lead the next revolution!”
“That could be right,” said Kuldeep nodding,” I see Naga Man also always cranking up NoGel. The people will not want a Wild man as the leader.” “Fish ah play ah sea, he nah know watah ah boil fuh am,” said Bungi sagely. “But NoGel na stupid. He gon know wha deh up to.”
“Chap, let me tell you something,” offered Teacher Samad, who had been listening quietly as usual. “When a man is as ambitious as NoGel, his head is so stuck in the sky he can’t see right in front of his foot.”
“Well, de ole people always seh, all smart fly gon end up pan cow backside,” grinned Cappo.