Logic of Envy

Satiricus is a modest fellow. He knows he has a lot to be modest about – especially when it came to this fancy thing they called ‘logic’. Satiricus pretty did whatever came to his mind – which usually got him into no end of trouble. It seems that what came to his mind naturally, seldom was ‘logical’. So you can imagine Satiricus’ joy when this ‘logic thing’ was explained to him in a series of ads carried by the Muckraker – on some new airline.

“Listen chaps, all you have to do is look out for when things happen, make up the story you want and then put the things together,” said Satiricus with a self-satisfied smirk. “That’s inductive logic.”

“Wha de arse, yuh talking about, man?” Cappo sounded bemused. “Yuh get me confused now!”

“Boy, I talking about how the Muckraker put together the news article about how Jagdeo and Bobby form a new airline,” replied Satiricus. The fellas around the table looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Well, one day, the Muckraker find that somebody apply for a licence to an airline in Guyana as “Air Guyana”,” started out Satiricus, before Suresh interrupted.

“Who is the ‘somebody’?” Suresh demanded.

“Actually, the Muckraker don’t know but the attorney general said it was somebody in New York – foreign.” Satiricus wasn’t fazed.

“De AG?” Cappo wanted to know. “How he get involve?”

“Somebody else had the ‘Air Guyana’ name when the first ‘somebody’ went to register the new airline, the second somebody objected.” Satiricus was on a roll. He knew ‘logic’.

“So the Registrar knows who all these ‘somebody’ are, right?” Samad said exasperatedly.

“Why didn’t the Muckraker ask the Registrar? These are public records!” Satiricus had to confess, “I don’t know. But let me continue with this logic thing I discover, okay?’

“A’right. Gwaan,” urged Cappo. “Me want fuh learn some lagic too!” “Thank you! Then the Muckraker said that one day, the government carry out a study to show that a new airline would be profitable.” Satiricus picked up his thread.

“What you mean, ‘Muckraker’ seh.” Suresh wanted to know. “Didn’t they find out. That should be a public record thing also. This is not ‘Dem boy seh’!!”

“Well the government said they never conducted any study for an airline,” confessed Satiricus.

“So we don’t even know if ‘somebody’ conduct a study?” Teacher Samad asked quietly. “Not the first somebody nor the second somebody?” “Well, that’s right. But there’s more.”

Satiricus was getting disillusioned about his newfound logic insight but be plodded on. “The Muckraker also said that a girl who used to work for Bobby, now working for a new airline, which they think is the airline that apply for the “Air Guyana” name. And they said it has to be Bobby’s airline.”

“Really? Suh if Badam! Harris bin a wuk fuh PNC and he a now wuk fuh Muckraker, da mean PNC own Muckraker?” Cappo was getting worked up.

“I think I see what you chaps getting at,” confessed Satiricus with a sigh. “Goodbye logic.” “Satiricus me friend, Muckraker na use logic fuh mek up story.” Cappo advised. “Dem use ‘bad-mind’. Dem jus jealous ‘bout people who gat mo dan dem.” “Jealousy has no logic,” intoned Samad.