Jhaat –o-care

Satiricus wasn’t as ebullient as he usually was about the New Year. He’d realised that a new year meant being one year older. And his body was beginning to tell him that “older” meant aches and pains. Satiricus wondered when some local politician would come up with a local version of Obamacare – taking care of all health worries.

He knew Guyana already had free health care. But he knew too, as Prezzie pointed out, government hospitals and clinics were terrible when it came to keeping records on drugs. They were always running out while other locations were overflowing.

And what did Prezzie suggest be done? That the government workers keep better records!!! Satiricus fell on the floor laughing when he heard that. Sure! When it snows in Georgetown.

So you could imagine Satiricus’ delight when he heard about the elegant solution offered by that great leader of the KFC – Rum Jhaat. In a revolutionary insight, Rum Jhaat said that the problem wasn’t record keeping and knowing what drugs were in stock. No Siree! The problem was buying too much drugs. If you didn’t buy so much at one time, then you wouldn’t need to keep records. Satiricus reeled in wonder at this incisive insight.

But how would the doctors get the drugs when the patients were dying on their beds and operating tables? Well this was solved by an even greater insight by Rum Jhaat: the “Just-in-Time” inventory system introduced by the Japanese to manufacturing in the 1970s. Just don’t have warehouses full of parts… order them so they arrive just in time when they’re needed. You save money and time – not to mention making record keeping obsolete!

And how would the drugs appear “just in time”? Well here again, Rum Jhaat had the solution which shows what a great leader he is. Go back to the days of the People’s National Congress (PNC) when drugs (and everything else, such as flour) had to be brought in by traders in suitcases! We don’t need big companies to bring in drugs – the small man (with a suitcase) could become a real drugs man.

And what about those drugs that needed to be refrigerated? Heck no problem, according to Rum Jhaat. Have you forgotten ice boxes and coolers? If we could trust them to keep our beer cool when we go to cricket why not our drugs when we are dying? Isn’t beer even more sensitive than drugs? And you ask how would the traders know when to fly in with the drugs with the patients on the operating table?

What a silly question, thought Satiricus since that was already covered by Jhaat-o-care. Every drug trader and doctor would have a satellite phone to be in direct contact. This was the age of instantaneous communication, no? And how would the drugs get here from foreign? “Jeez,” wondered Satiricus, “Does Rum Jhaat have to spell out everything?”

The drug traders would charter private Lear Jets to fly them in.

Duh!!!

 

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