By Lakhram Bhagirat
“I remember it as though it was just yesterday when in fact it has been six years now. It was a Wednesday morning and I went to GRPA (Guyana Responsible Parenthood Association) for an HIV test and there my world shattered. I was nervous as hell and then they drew the blood and sent me upstairs to talk to the counsellor and await the results. I think I waited like about half hour for the results, but it seemed like it was days. When I was called into the room, the counsellor told me I was HIV positive and I was crushed. I don’t remember anything he said after that, but all I know is I got home somehow and cried for days,” James tells me.
I met James about eight years ago while working at Qualfon and we have been friends ever since. He is the father of a beautiful nine-year-old girl. Because of the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS, James agreed to share his story with me but on the condition of anonymity. Therefore, to protect his identity I changed his name but his story remains the same.
To understand James’s story, you have to go back to his “troubled” childhood. He was born and raised in the community of Albouystown. Now at 29, James tell me when he was just about 10 years old, his mother died and he went to live with an aunt who never paid attention to him, since she had four children of her own. She only took care of him because his father would financially support the family.
He said that although he was given the basic necessities as well as a fair chance at getting an education, he never felt a sense of belonging since no one took the time to ask how he was coping after his mother’s death. He eventually got caught up with the “wrong crew” and began using drugs at the age of 15 and from there, things began going out of control.
Tragedy would strike once again after his father died when he was 19 and he was left orphaned. He would eventually venture off on his own, but with limited passes at CXC, a proper job was hard to come by.
“When my father died, it was tough because I have nobody in my corner so I went and get a place to rent and at that time I was working at a store in town (Georgetown) and I got involved with my child mother. We move in together and sometime after she get pregnant and get my daughter. I try to be a good father to she and give she all she want,” he tells me.
However, after his daughter was born, the relationship became rocky since they were always pressed for money; there was very little he could have done. He had a friend who was working at Qualfon so he asked him to get a job there for him. Eventually, he got a job at Qualfon as a Customer Service Representative while his common-law wife continued working at the store.
“When I start working at Qualfon, I was on the night shift so when she was at work, I was home and when I home, she at work so we grow apart. I meet this girl at Qualfon that was on my team, and me and she develop a relationship. My girl find out and then she just pack up and went by she mother. I didn’t try to bring she back, because I say is best we separate,” he explained.
Now, if he could have gone back in time, he would have taken a different course of action. What James did not know was the girl he met at Qualfon was HIV positive.
“After me girl move out and so, lil’ bit after I get sick and I wasn’t feeling right. So I didn’t take it for anything and one day me friend was going to do an AIDS test and he tell me ‘let we go’. When I go, it was then I find out I had the truck (HIV/AIDS),” he remembered.
When I asked him what he felt after his diagnosis, James said it was all numbness for a few days. He said he could not eat or go to work. He even contemplated suicide, since he knew very little about HIV other than it would lead to death. However, he confided in the mother of his daughter who took him to the hospital where he was put on Antiretrovirals (ARVs) and he made some lifestyle changes.
He said that now he takes care of his body by eating healthy, exercising and making sure that he takes his medication always.
“I want to be around for a long time. I want to see my daughter married and see grandkids. I want people out there to know that they have to be careful when it comes to sex and if you are HIV positive, just know that it is not the end of the world. You can live a healthy and long life. You just need to take care of yourself,” he said.
James has since left his job at Qualfon. After leaving, he rewrote CXC and ventured into the accounting world. He is currently a CAT student and working as an accounts clerk for a private company. He does not let his HIV status define what he can and cannot do, rather he strives to achieve all he can while he has the strength just to show his daughter that no matter the obstacle, hard work and determination are the keys to gaining success. (Times Sunday Magazine)
