Satiricus was agog. Not that he was “fast” or a “pot salt” or anything like that but as a fella always eager to know what’s going on, Satiricus was frequently “agog”. This time he was all agog about the wonderful way the Leader of the KFC party, Rum Jhaat, had with words. And how misunderstood he also was.
The thing was… in Guyana… ordinary people didn’t know how important words were to a highly trained senior lawyer like Rum Jhaat.
Just as how a cutlass was the tool of a cane cutter, words were the tools of a lawyer. And Rum Jhaat could wield his tool as good as any cane cutter. In the matter at hand, Rum Jhaat had announced that the housing minister was practically giving away prime real estate on the East Bank to every Tom, Dick and Harilall who called themselves “developer”. Satiricus became livid when he heard that. Imagine selling land to private developers when only 200,000 house lots had been given to ordinary folks. Since when private developers had any rights? Or money meant anything? Lucky for the ordinary folks that Rum Jhaat and his communist sympathies were on their side.
The minister then tried to weasel out by calling a press conference to announce the developers had paid millions of dollars for the land. As if this mattered!!! And to top it off, had his secretary invite Rum Jhaat to the press conference! Now, this was really taking this democracy business too far. Who the heck was this minister to think he could defend his ministry and rebut a party leader (KFC party) – and a presidential candidate at that – to his face?? “The nerve!!!” fumed Satiricus.
But being the great leader he was, the newspaper reported that Rum Jhaat very maturely told the minister’s secretary to have the minister “haul his ass”. Satiricus immediately knew that the report was incorrect and concocted. Rum Jhaat would never speak like that. As a trained lawyer Rum Jhaat would always speak with the correct syntax. Rum Jhaat would never say “haul his ass”. Satiricus knew that Rum Jhaat had said “tell the minister to haul ‘e ass”. How could Rum Jhaat say otherwise? Hadn’t even his junior partner – the Nagga Man, entering the legal profession in his dotage – parsed his words ever so carefully when he announced in Parliament, he’d told his grandson: “Shut yuh so-and-so mouth!!”? Ah…. What class! If a junior could exhibit such an erudite command of the language, how could the party leader do less? So, to all who would condemn such a senior lawyer like Rum Jhaat, Satiricus says: “Haul yuh ass!”