Guyanese men battle suicide, spousal abuse

By Svetlana Marshall

Every 40 seconds someone in the world commits suicide. More than one million persons take their own lives every year. The global suicide rate has increased by a whopping 60 per cent for the past 45 years, with the majority of the victims being men. This is according to the World Health Organisation. Guyana is no exception.
In 2003, it ranked sixth in the world, with 42.4 men in every 100,000 committing suicide while women stood at 12.1. By 2006, the figures had dropped with 39 men in every 100,000 taking their own lives while it was estimated that 13.4 women committed suicide.
To date, the trend continues in Guyana, but men are not only taking their own lives, but their spouse’s and children’s as well. So far in 2013, there have been more than seven suicide cases recorded in the country; with approximately 80 per cent of the victims being men.
After seven years of disagreements, abuse and financial difficulties, Banmattie Devi Bacchus, 28, of New Amsterdam, Berbice parted ways with her reputed husband Narendra “Dado” Thakur for his 17-year-old nephew. On January 16, 2012, she had returned home to reconcile, but contrary to a promise, she paid with her life.
Motionless, the mother of five laid in a pool of blood; she had been severely beaten and hacked to death by her reputed husband as by-passers watched helplessly. Subsequently, Thakur committed suicide.

Erectile dysfunction
Asked what might be the reason behind this scourge of men opting to kill themselves in the country, Human Services Ministry Deputy Permanent Secretary Patrick Findlay said “Gold Standard” and health issues such as erectile dysfunction are major contributing factors.
He explained that men in Guyana have been raised in a society where they are told that they ought to be powerful, controlling and invincible.
“In other words, they must not be seen as weak.” Findlay said the problem develops when men believe that they have failed to reach the standards perceivably set out by society when they are unable to rake in enough cash to support their families, or their authority is being threatened.
“I am losing my powers, I am losing my control over my wife, I am less invincible, I am now appearing to be weak in the eyes of people, and these are the things that cause men to commit suicide.”
According to the deputy permanent secretary, some societies are against equality among men and women since it is believed that men are being stripped of the powers vested in them. He further said men who live in societies like these often take their lives in an effort to escape the challenges of life.
“We are now living in an era that promotes liberalisation of women, now that is not a bad thing because women must be treated with respect and they are valuable to society, but there are some groups that believe in the control phenomena, they believe that men must be the boss at all times.” He said men should “get with the changing tide”, noting that death does not affect just one person, positing that innocent children are made to suffer.
Findlay also oterred to health issues such as erectile dysfunction among men. “Erectile dysfunction eats away a man’s ego, eats away his manhood and so he cannot cope with this sort of thing, so he flips.”

Down played
Men’s Affairs Bureau Administrator Pastor Diego Alphonso echoed similar views when interviewed by Guyana Times International. He said men more than often decide to take their lives because they are of the opinion that their issues after being down -played by society.
Based on the many talks held with men across the country, Alphonso said men are suffering from years of hurt and verbal abuse, but most of all the failure to meet the unrealistic goals set out by society. He said it appears as though there is a lack of the “cope and hope factor”, in their lives.
The administrator of the Men’s Affairs Bureau said men are not only committing suicide, but they are abusing their spouses which sometimes lead to murder. He said while the bureau will never support the abuse of women, issues concerning men must be addressed and only then there will be a major reduction in domestic violence and suicide.
“There is a sense of despair, a sense of hopelessness, not having the ability to cope with the situation and the circumstance and they somehow think that domestic violence or suicide is the answer or avenue out,” the administrator said.

Copy cat syndrome
Alphonso also alluded to the “copy cat syndrome” where men take their own lives or the lives of their loved ones after learning about similar incidents via the media. “When they see in the media what other men have done, to solve the problem, they reach a point where they don’t seem to have a solution for their problem, so they may decide what that man did he had a reason why he did it, so maybe that’s what I need to do, so we end up with a multiplying effect.”
He also pointed out that the world is perceived to be a woman’s world, noting that this too is taking a toll on men since it goes against what they were taught growing up. “Some men feel insecure by the opposite sex, as it relates to them academically or financially.”
Nevertheless, he said there is hope, positing that the problems can be solved through education, effective communication, respect, love and trust, but emphasised the need for all organisations to get involved, pointing out the Guyana Police Force in particular, noting that much more is required.
He further stated that the Men’s Affairs Bureau has systems and mechanisms in place to tackle the issues affecting men, pointing out that they should make use of the opportunity as it relates to alternative methods that can be used to solve problems. “We show them that the number one need of a man is respect and the number one need of a woman is affection, so if we could get them to work towards meeting each other’s need and expectation, the man shows love to the woman, the woman respects the man, then it would close that avenue and close that door to these forms of violence.”
In 2013, Alphonso said the bureau will continue to save lives through the Human Services Ministry’s National Conversation on Domestic Violence. He said this year, the bureau will continue to meet men at all levels of society to hear their cries. “We will be interacting with men in community meetings, we will be meeting them in the football fields, we will meet them at the cricket clubs, we will meet them in the barbershops, wherever they are, we will meet with them and encourage them that there is a solution and we will keeping telling our men that domestic violence is not the solution to a problem.”
He said step by step, the bureau, with aid from other organisations, will repaint the image of men in society. “We will continue to work with them and not let men feel that they are the enemy of society, but men have great role in society, we will continue to help them to fulfil their potential and purpose and their destiny.”
In addition, the Men’s Affairs Bureau and the Human Services Ministry will continue to work closely with the Health Ministry in making effective the Suicide Prevention Programme.