Goat bite RumJhaat

Satiricus sighed. He so much enjoyed the letters columns in the dailies. Especially in the Muckraker KN. Looking through the letters, they selected one that always had a pulse on what was going on in the opposition camp. Not that their articles didn’t religiously cleave to the opposition line, but in the letters, you got a feel what was going on beneath the surface.
So he perked up when he read the daily diatribe of KFC apologists Thunderbolt and Rose – even though it meant ploughing a page of ponderous text. The dyspeptic duo declared it was “Time for the KFC”. But in the paean to the AFC’s future, they declared: “Our reading of the utterances of the Naga Man and NoGel Huge clearly revealed two mature and deep thinking and sincere leaders who are ready…” to carry out the KFC Action Plan.
“What going on?” thought Satiricus. “What happened to the Rum Jhaat? Isn’t he still the leader of the KFC?”
Luckily for Satiricus his favourite wife’s niece, maid to the opposition, had just brought the Jhaat’s diary. She assured Satiricus the Jhaat had just made an entry before going off to have a drink (or 10) before lunch. Satiricus began to read….
Dear Diary, I so mad I could cuss dem ungrateful neemakaraams.
Well, Dear Diary, excuse me but I gonna cuss anyway… Fu#*?/£¥!!!! you, Naga Man, Fu¥+^#%/!!! you NoGel. Is who I talking about? Those two no-good I brought in to me party.
Look how they connive to wuk with that Flour Thief, to try to throw me out. How the Flour Thief and he friend could talk about where the KFC going and not mention me? They think the KFC is some kind of cook shop? I is the KFC and the KFC is me. I wuk too hard to get rid of the TratMan.
Naga Man still vex wid me because he think I set he up with GraiNJa. Well I did set he up… but he don’t know that for sure. That was the only way I could get the TratMan to leave. But he shoulda understand. In politics is every man for heself. When we was in the PPEE and I was the lil boy, I use to help him get the votes at Congress. We use to bribe everybody.
(I just tek one drink, Dear Diary). After I write this, I going with the boys for a drink at the rum shop.) But Dear Diary, they don’t know me yet. I ready for them.
I learn good from the Naga Man how to earn friends and influence people: bribery. I already lay the trap for them.
How you think the Bush Doctor get Prado? Is them people who want to build the hospital. I tell them to help out the Bush Doctor and we will get them the hospital contract.
Han’ wash Han’ mek Han’ clean. And you know Dear Diary, it gonna tek a whole lotta washing to ge me han’ clean… (I gone for that drink.)