Funny Guyanese wedding stories

Traditionally, throughout the world, the month of June is associated with weddings and “June brides”. It is felt that if a marriage is consummated in June, it is perceived as a blessing and the chances of love and affection would unite couples into an everlasting bond.

Whether this is true or not, there are some Guyanese customs to which couples would adhere, regardless of the consequences: “Don’t look back while going up the aisle”; “jumping the broom”- a West African tradition; “don’t ever let a dog eat your wedding cake”; “don’t sweep one’s foot with a pointer broom prior to marriage”, are just a few.

The following are some true funny stories surrounding weddings in Guyana.

Cow itch powder or stinging nettle

It is believed that a bride must be attired in: “Something old; something new; something borrowed; something blue”, for good luck, and no bad omen would befall the marriage. However, at one Guyanese wedding, the bride borrowed a glove from her dear girlfriend, not realizing the friend had a crush on the groom. The friend wilfully laced the glove with “cow-itch or stinging nettle” powder, – a powder that would induce intense itching. At the wedding ceremony, before the exchange of vows, the problem began. The itching was very severe. Apparently the powder was transferred and dispersed to certain discrete parts of the bride’s anatomy. The itching was very noticeable and created an embarrassing scene. The groom, unaware of the problem, and in disgust, disappeared from the altar and the wedding was called off. Guess who was waiting outside the church to console him?

Wedding cake

It was also understood that if you are single and you place a very small piece of wedding cake behind your right ear, you would enhance and accelerate your chances of getting married. A 65-year-old-man, who would remain nameless, attended a well-known Guyanese wedding ceremony. In desperation he applied enormous amounts of wedding cake behind both ears. To make a long story short, he is still single today at 80.

Catching of the bouquet

The custom where the person who catches the bouquet is believed to be the next to marry is very evident at weddings. Before one wedding reception, the bride made arrangements with her best friend – her maid of honour who was single – to throw the bouquet in her direction. Somehow, the boyfriend of the maid of honour got wind of the plan. When the bouquet was released from the bride, the boyfriend intercepted and caught the bouquet. The maid of honour was so upset she ranted and raved. One month later, the boyfriend married someone else.

Dowry

It is customary at a Hindu wedding for the father of the bride to offer a satisfactory dowry to the groom. As long as the groom does not eat, the father has to continue offering possessions.  At one such Hindu wedding, the groom was not satisfied with the house and land that were offered. Not until he was promised a number of cows and sheep did he eventually eat, which showed his acceptance. After the wedding, he went to collect his dowry but was greeted with a severe beating by the family members. He then realized that the father-in-law never owned a house or any cattle in his entire life.

Marriage vows

During a wedding ceremony the preacher asked, “Does anyone know why these parties should not be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace?” One member of the wedding party shouted, “The groom is gay.” Without any hesitation the bride blurted out, “So what? I know he is gay, he is always so joyful and happy.”

Rising up first

It is understood that when couples kneel at the altar to exchange their vows, it is thought that whoever gets up first will live longer than the other. In the haste to get up first, the groom accidentally stood on the bride’s dress causing her to fall prostrate at the feet of the pastor.

Pigeons

It is normal after the wedding ceremony to throw rice grains over the married couple for good luck as they leave the church. The groom, clad in a white suit, and the bride, wearing a gorgeous white gown, were greeted with a huge amount of rice grains landing on their heads. Suddenly, a drove of hungry pigeons appeared, stood on their heads, and had a feast. Simultaneously the pigeons decided to release some droppings which landed all over the married couple, leaving a random polka dot design on the white apparel of the couple. (Source: By Edgar Henry. Published in the Guyana Cultural Association of New York Inc. June 2012 Magazine)