“Fostering children is a very challenging task, because there is a reminder that there is the possibility that the day might come where you have to let the legal rights of the child go on to somebody else, especially if the biological parents come back into the picture. It is not a definite thing. However, it is an investment and once you love children that erases that doubt, it erases that uncertainty; it makes it all the more worthwhile.”
By Lakhram Bhagirat
The thing that children crave the most is the need to be loved, the need to feel wanted, the need to be reassured that they matter. They need to feel as though there is someone always in their corner and quite often that need is fulfilled by their parents.
However, not all children are lucky to have their parents by their side. This is for a number of reasons and that absence quite often invokes a sense of loneliness and abandonment. Those children quite often end up resenting their very situation, but some are lucky enough to have that void filled by wonderful people around them.
While those who fill the void cannot take the place of a parent, they provide that sense of security and a feeling of being loved. That person can be a relative or a complete stranger, but what matters is that they care wholeheartedly for that child.
For almost eight years, Endar Jeet Singh has been providing that care to two girls. He is considered their saviour by some, but for him, it is just him trying to give the girls a life that they deserve.
When he was just 18 years old, Singh noticed that a family in his community of Ogle, on the East Coast of Demerara, was in a state of dire need. Both parents of the girls were alcoholics and they were not affording the children the kind of care they deserved. This deeply troubled the young man and he knew that he could not idly sit by and allow these children to be robbed of the opportunities they so deserved.
“I was working with the then Ministry of Labour and I noticed the two young children around the age of four, and a few months old. The mother and father were both alcoholics and being the kind of person I am, which is I cannot see certain things happening, I spoke with the elders in my family and I was advised that if I wanted to do something, then I should seek some help from the people who can help. So I then went to the Ministry and spoke to someone who advised that I should take custody of the children,” he remembers.
Growing up with both parents in his life, Singh believes that every child deserves that kind of opportunity that was afforded to him. He knew that taking these children into his custody would mean that he would now have to be in a position to provide them with the same life he received and he was ready.
The now 26-year-old is a trained teacher and committed to giving the best life to the girls in his care.
Backtracking to the process, Singh was constantly asked why a young person was attempting to take on such a huge responsibility.
“I was still 18, so I needed my mom there. We took custody of the children and then the Ministry (of Human Services and Social Security) intervened and they attempted to place the children with biological family members, but that did not work out. They asked if we were willing to keep them and we agreed. The girls are now nine and 13 and I have had them for almost eight years now. At first, I did not have any major challenges, but there was a question of why a single young male wants two children and take on that responsibility at such a young age, but it just remained a question that I had to answer.”
Singh is the youngest of five males for his parents and he recounts that he always wanted sisters. So when that opportunity came up, he attempted to fill that void.
Asked how his life has been altered since he took on the responsibility of raising the girls, Singh said that they have helped him to mature even faster. This he is grateful for after looking back at some of the decisions he made before they came into his life.
“Fostering children is a very challenging task, because there is a reminder that there is the possibility that the day might come where you have to let the legal rights of the child go on to somebody else, especially if the biological parents come back into the picture. It is not a definite thing. However, it is an investment and once you love children that erases that doubt, it erases that uncertainty; it makes it all the more worthwhile.
“My encouragement to persons considering fostering: it is one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. When you are able to do certain things for a child and be there for a child and help them to grow, it is one of the most rewarding experiences,” he notes.
His reward comes when the girls are happy, when they accomplish things they wanted to.
“The bigger of the two girls I have had her since she was about five years old and she knew what was happening and what happened. At first, she was a bit standoffish and reluctant and for a very long time, I thought that she will grow up being like that. But over the last year, I noticed a lot of positive changes in her. She has now become a very responsible, very intelligent, and a very smart child in many ways and that by itself is what makes it rewarding,” he relates.
Singh says while the mother of the children has died, the father lives. However, the father has since relinquished his claims to them, because he has realised that they are being afforded the best of opportunities.
The girls are the centre of Singh’s universe and have changed his life as much as he has changed theirs. He relates that he would do it all over again, because, for him, the ability to make a difference is all that matters.
