Foreign Fright

Satiricus was resigned to his fate. His sister-in-law and her family were visiting for the holidays.

The sister-in-law and children he didn’t mind; it was the husband that was the pain. You would think that he was born in the USA. But Satiricus was determined to grin and bear his chafe. It was, he figured, the season to be jolly. The two bottles of Grey Goose the twit had brought down would ease the pain.

“Georgie!” called out Satiricus, for that was the name the visitor answered to, “Let’s go down to the back street bar to have a drink with the fellas.” “Is after seven. You think it’s safe to go out now?” Georgie had on his three quarter pants and enough gold on his chest to stop a Magnum at point blank range.

“Georgie, is where you come from? Is not from Canal # 1? What make you so scared, man?” Satiricus tried to keep the irritation from his voice. He wasn’t sure he was successful. “Is not you used to wrestle with crocodile in Canal?” “Well, I does read KoChor News every week in Queens you know. So you can’t fool me about crime in Guyana.” Georgie was serious. “Is slashing and murder every day! I got to be careful.” “Georgie, is what wrong with you, man?” Satiricus couldn’t keep it in any longer. “You know how stupid I feel you had your uncle hire a security guard to accompany us from the airport?” “But I read in KoChor News about all them visitor getting hijacked! I was just taking precautions.” Georgie was in his second day and he was still skittish.

“And I still think you shoulda kept the fellow to watch the house. You never know!” “Georgie, let me ask you something. When you in New York, you got the New York Times and the Daily News, right?” “Right,” Georgie looked at Satiricus.

He knew Satiricus was up in New York quite a bit.

“So, which paper you read?” “New York Times.” “Why? If there is a murder, both would carry it, no?” Satiricus wasn’t letting go. “Well, the Daily News tends to sensationalise the murder. Front page and screaming headlines and stuff. Digging into dirty details of the victims and so on.” Georgie could see where Satiricus was heading.

“That’s right, Georgie. KoChor News is our scandal rag. It’s a hundred times more sensational than the Daily News. People read it to hear gossip but they don’t take it seriously.” “I hear what you say. And I suspected that. I ain’t stupid, you know. But when you reading something all the time, it’s kinda hard to get it out of you mind.” Georgie looked a bit sheepish.

“All right. But ease up with all the looking around and jumping when some body call you. The boys already laughing their heads off.” “So we going to take that drink now?” Georgie got up with a jingle.

“Not until you take off all that gold from you neck. This village is safe but even here, people got their breaking point!”