Force ripe and gums

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was gloating, and he had no problem admitting it. After years of taking it on the chin – and below the belt! – from his friends at the Back Street Bar, about the KFC and its leaders: Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat, it was now payback time!! He couldn’t wait to wade into them about the brouhaha precipitated by one of their PPCEE young ‘uns throwing his hat into the ring to become their Presidential candidate.
“So what you guys have against young Ran-Son running for the Presidency?” Satiricus began as soon as he sat down – and before he even grabbed a beer.
“Who seh abee gat anyt’ing ‘gainst de bai?” asked Bungi.
“Well, your Leader slapped him down after he announced his candidacy!” replied Satiricus.
”Wha’ slap dong?” asked Cappo. “De Bass just seh abee party gat abee way fuh do t’ing.”
“But what’s wrong with the young man putting up his hand?” asked Satiricus. “Since Jagdesh can’t run.”
“Sato, the young man didn’t just put up his hand,” said Hari quietly. “He boasted that he ‘exudes integrity, passion and vision’, and that he has a family of his own!”
“Now, yuh know ‘e bin a show aff!” observed Bungi. “Da na de way abee a talk ‘bout abee self.”
“An’ ‘e t’row talk pan some a dem adda bais in ‘e party w’en he talk ‘bout family,” said Cappo.
“The bottom line,” said Hari, “is Ran-Son know about the party’s tradition to select candidates, and he insisted on doing things his way!”
“But what’s wrong about telling people about your strengths?” asked Satiricus.
“’E fo’ce ripe, da wha’ me t’ink!” said Bungi. “Lil bai nah climb ladder fuh tu’n big man!”
“Yuh cyaan jus’ TALK ‘bout yuh strength,” said Cappo. “Yuh gat fuh SHOW yuh strength!’
“In other words, Sato,” said Hari. “Our party insists you must have experience.”
“Yuh cyaan chew bone wid gum!” grinned Bungi. “Abee party guh decide who gat teet’ and who gat gum!!”
“An’ yuh need teet fuh fight de Pee-an-see!!” concluded Cappo. “Ran Son still gat ‘e baby gum!!”

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