Election matters

Satiricus was pleased. There was hope for his country, he thought. Here were YCD and YSN the youth arms of the PNCEE and APANU calling for “restructuring” of GECON. During the last elections Satiricus had witnessed firsthand – as a humble journalistic scribbler – how stacked the staff was against the PPEE. Every man-jack (and every woman-jill, for that matter) had been an APANU supporter. Satiricus saw that GrainJa had been getting info even before SurujBallsy – much less his point man GoCool. Now these young men felt this was unfair and were calling for “restructuring”. Satiricus discretely wiped away a tear that fell from his eye.
“Lawd Sato!! Ah when yuh guh learn?” moaned Cappo. The fellas were taking their first visit to their old hangout after the holiday. “Dem youth-man na mean wha’ yuh think deh mean!!”
“But they said they want to “restructure GECON!” protested Satiricus. “What else could they possibly mean?”
“Budday!! Like you need flashlight to see in broad daylight!” snickered Suresh. “Is who name the youth-men call?”
“Well, they say they want SurujBallsy and GoCool to be fired!” replied Satiricus. “But then they say they want the “restructuring”.
“Sato me friend, when they talk about ‘restructuring,” piped in Hari patiently, “They mean firing SurujBallsy and GoCool! And putting their own people in their place.”
“But is not APANU partner WAPA who pick SurujBallsy?” asked Kuldeep with a puzzled look. “Like them boys had a falling out or what?”
“Dat is lang time story,” suggested Cappo. “When man done suck cane he dash peeling pan ground.”
“And don’t forget SurujBallsy tek too long fuh count de vote de las’ time, and dem youth-man na forget how deh had to march pan he,” his friend Bungi reminded him.
“But if APANU and KFC follow the youth-men and put in their own people on the top,” asked Satiricus plaintively, “then we don’t need an election. We already know the winner!”
“Well, I’m glad you don’t need a flashlight to see that one!” laughed Suresh.
“But what the PPEE doing? Like cow deh a pasture and he nah remember dog and butcher deh till he see am.”
“Well the dog and butcher done say that they forcing snap elections,” pointed out Hari. “That’s why they want to take over GECON.”
“PPEE better remember dat too much sit down ah bruck trousers,” Cappo chimed in. “KFC and APANU getting ready fuh rumble!”
“And here I thought the youths were breaking out from the old ways,” mourned Satiricus. “So is the same ole same ole?”
“Sato me friend, leh me larn yuh something,” said Cappo, throwing his arm over Satiricus’ shoulders. “You always tell me all cassava get same skin but all nah taste same way, Right?”
“Right! That’s why I thought the youths wanted to change things,” confessed Satiricus. “I thought they would be different.”
“But yuh gat fuh remember, Sato,” said Cappo quietly, “If you plant bitter cassava, deh got fuh taste de same. Is bitter cassava we gat yaa-so!”