“Crying like a little girl”

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was quite amused after he read about the businessman who turned the tables on the gunman who tried to rob him. Even though his leader Rum Jhaat was Security Minister, Satiricus had to admit gun-related violence was increasing, and no amount of fiddling with the figures and closing bars at 2am would change that. He was still chuckling when he joined the fellas at the Back Street Bar.
“Eh! Eh! Like yuh get some scab money fuh do teacha wuk?” said Bungi as Satiricus took a seat and grabbed a beer.
“Naah! I wouldn’t do that to our teachers!” Satiricus replied. “I was thinking about that businessman who shot at the bandit who tried to rob him!”
“Yeah! Me read ‘bout da,” said Cappo. “’E musse mo’ fas’ dan Billy de Kid, since de bandit bin done gat ‘e gun out!”
“What I found funny was the paper said the bandit ran away ‘crying like a girl’ and peed up on himself!” said Satiricus, bursting into another round of chuckles.
“Maybe the bandit thought it was a Jumbie, since it was near Le Repentir cemetery,” smiled Hari.
“But hol’ it right deh!” declared Bungi. “Wha’ yuh mean “the bandit cry like wan lil gyaal and pee up ‘eself?
“Well, that’s what the paper said,” said Satiricus, somewhat surprised.
“An’ yuh na t’ink da ‘raang’? demanded Cappo. “Ah only lil gyaal a cry and pee up dem-self when bullet a fly pan dem?”
“Hey! You have a good point,” observed Hari. “I have a daughter and she’s tougher than Sato’s son any day!”
“Leave my son out of this,” said Satiricus. “He’s a sensitive boy.”
“Well, maybe the bandit was a sensitive fella,” said Hari.
“But de Police shoulda fin’ ‘e rass right away an’ jail am!” said Bungi, without any sympathy.
“Why?” asked Satiricus.
“If de bandit pee up ‘eself, de Police jus’ gat fuh falla ‘e pee trail!!” said Cappo.
“Just like Hansel and Gretel with their bread crumbs!” said Hari, as he raised his beer bottle for a clink.

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