Crocodile tears

Satiricus couldn’t hold back his tears. Wasn’t it wonderful how Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga Man were praising old Speaker Ralfie? Oh, the brotherhood; the camaraderie and the solidarity these men were showing their old comrade. They probably just couldn’t wait to sit down in some rum shop on the East Coast with Ralfie and reminisce about the good old days.
“Good old days?” Suresh snorted. “The only thing those fellas have in common is their hatred of Jagdeo.”
“Yuh damn right,” agreed Cappo. “None a dem gat de guts fuh tek on Jagdeo. Suh dem mussee guh talk he name! High breeze ah mek crow and eagle light pan one line.”
“But Ralfie na guh siddown wid dem loser,” said Bungi fervently. “Dem chap just want fuh burn de PPP house to de ground.”
“And Ralfie daady help build dat house fram scratch!” Cappo agreed. “Ralfie gat mo sense dan dat. He know nah because dog ah play with yuh he nah bite yuh.”
“But Naga Man and Ram Jhaat can lie too bad!” exclaimed Kuldeep. “Naga Man always jealous Ralfie because Ralfie was a lawyer.”
“Oooo! That’s why he bin to law school when he was a grandfather?” asked Hari. “He trying to catch up with Ralfie?”
“Well, he can run like snot from a runny nose, Naga Man will never become Senior Counsel like Ralfie!” The retort from Suresh cracked up the gathering around the table.
“All smart fly does end up pan cow backside,” advised Bungi. “Ralfie gon never agree wid Ram Jaat and Naga Man like how dem stir up trouble in Linden.”
“But even befo Linden, yuh think Ralfie gu forget how dem two scamps cuss he out till ‘e na gat wata fuh wash am, when de PPP put up Ralfie fuh Speakah?” Cappo wasn’t mincing any words.
“An Ram Jhaat bin cuss Ralfie even worse when he bin a carry news pan de PPP to de Americans,” Bungi interjected. “How Ralfie gon siddown wid dem after all dem hard word?”
“Okay, so maybe Ralfie won’t join up with Naga and the Jhaat,” conceded Kuldeep. “But you think Ralfie will go back to de PPP?”
“When coconut fall from tree he can’t fasten back,” offered Bungi.
“But like me seh befo, Ralfie na really cut out from PPP. He still see dem like family,” mused Cappo. “Wha hurt eye does mek nose run water. Ralfie na guh hurt de PPP.”
“Blood thicker than water,” said Suresh sagely.
“So youall really don’t think Naga Man and Ram Jhaat praising Ralfie for old times sake?” Satiricus wanted to make sure.
“Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, “answered Teacher Samad who’d been listening carefully, if silently the whole time. “But beware even more of envious scoundrels who praise you. The knives are already drawn.”