Creolese

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was pleased. He’d just read that some very educated person named “Came Bridge” – who used to write a fancy column in the Kronic – was part of a project to teach Creolese at UG. This was good news for the country, and he couldn’t wait to get over to the Back Street Bar. The fellas were already ensconced at the back table. They had to have been there for a while, since the table was already forested by beer empties.

“How come you fellas started so early?” he asked Bungi – who was signalling furiously at the waitress to bring a beer for Satiricus.

“Early?” slurred Bungi. “Like yuh fuget me get lay aff since de guvment close dung de suga fact’ry!”

“I didn’t forget,” replied Satiricus. “But I didn’t think you and Hari would’ve been here throwing back so early!”

“I took the day off,” reported Hari with a big goofy grin. “Too much rain!!”

“Anyhow, Bungi, I have some good news for you,” said Satiricus as he polished off the beer with one practised long gurgle, and signalled with his left hand to the waitress for another.

“Wah da?” asked Bungi. “Me ole paadna Cappo come back fram New Yaa’k, or dem a open back de fact’ry?

“Better than that, ole friend!” said Satiricus as he picked up his second beer and slapped the table. “I have a job opening for you and your cane cutter friends. You will be working in air conditioning!”

“Really, Sato?” asked Hari. “Janitors at the new Call Centre?

“Naah!” smirked Satiricus. “Teaching at UG!!”

“A wah wrang wid yuh head, Bai?!” exclaimed Bungi. “Wah rass me guh teach? How fuh sha’pen cutlass?”

“You cane-cutters will be teaching the 8000 UG students “Creolese”,” said Satiricus gleefully. “That’s what you speak, and it’s now a compulsory subject!!”

“Jeez!” smiled Bungi bashfully, “An’ me na even bin know me ah talk wan nadda lang-wij name “Creolese” all dis time!!”

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