Common Ground

Tears welled up in Satiricus’ eyes. Oh! The magnanimity of the man. It was at the meeting with all those parliamentarians from England and Canada who were going to show us how democracy was practiced.

Those worthies sure had a lot of practice. The memory of the violent suppression of democracy in Northern Ireland and Quebec tickled at Satiricus’ memory, but he pushed them aside.

And then our own Roop na Rain – Cambridge grad and all – stood up and announced that the government and the opposition had to find “common ground”. Boy, he’d shown those pommies that we natives had imbibed a thing or two when we sat at their feet and looked adoringly up into their eyes – in the hallowed halls of Cambridge, of course. What a mind! What an intellect! Why hadn’t anyone thought of that?

“What you mean?” asked Kuldeep scoffingly.

Kuldeep had been missing in action from the old dive for quite a while and was buying beers.

“Hey, give the man some credit,” replied Satiricus in a hurt tone. “He’s a PhD, you know.”

“PhD me arse!” expostulated Cappo sourly. “Budday, most a dese people wid letters behind dem name don’t know dem ass fram dem elbow. And Roop na Rain a waan a dem!”

“So tell me what wrong the man said,” challenged Satiricus.

“It’s not what’s wrong. It’s what completely irrelevant!” Kuldeep countered. “Why the hell you think pressie called in all the parties right after the election?”

“Yeah!” Cappo sneered. “You think he call dem fo knock glass?”

“Well, me hear Ram Jhaat Tan like fo knack glass,” smiled Bungi.

“All right! All right! I know about the tripartite talks, the president set up,” admitted Satiricus irascibly.

“But did Pressie say he wanted to find ‘common ground’?”

“Damn right, he did,” blurted Kuldeep. “Why you think he ask them to tell him their concerns?”

“Bai, like you forget Presie and APANU find camman ground pan on a whole lot a thing?” Cappo reminded Satiricus. “But den Roop na Rain boss Grain Ja eat he word?”

“But that was because Ram Jhaat Tan run and tell the people in Linden APANU betray them!” protested Satiricus heatedly.

“What you want Roop Na Rain do?” He liked how Roop na Rain could write a whole book about a single painting and you still couldn’t tell what he was writing. The man was deep!

“Satiricus me friend,” said Kuldeep, placing an arm around Sartiricus’ shoulder. “Roop na Rain and them chaps in APANU not serious.”

“When dem seh, ‘camman ground’ dem mean ‘dem ground’”, confided Cappo. “And fo de PPPEE, ‘dem ground’ mean ‘burial ground’”.

“Bai, you na see?” chipped in Bungi. “Dem want Speakah! Dem want committee! You know wha dem really want? Patkay!!” Every one chuckled. They knew the old joke.

“They said they wanted the contracts for the projects,” continued Kuldeep. “That was not common ground?” “How yuh gon find ‘camman ground’ wid people when dem cut de budget, throw people out a wuk and den seh was just fo ‘leverage’?” Cappo wanted to know.

“Well, I just thought, Roop na Rain was reaching out to Pressie with his ‘common ground’ plea,” confessed Satiricus.

“The only ‘reaching out on common ground’ from those APNU fellas would be near Kaieteur Falls to push Pressie over!” advised Kuldeep.

The guys all took a long swig at that.