Category: Satiricus

Satiricus was all agog at the goings on in Parliament. As usual, he knew he’d have to defend his leaders Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat in the Back Street Bar gyaaf. He felt very lonely nowadays as day by day, his friends in the KFC were jumping ship as it headed onto rocky shores. “Budday! Who ah de Security Minista?” asked Bungi even before Satiricus could take his seat. “Rum Jhaat or Nagga Man?” “Rum Jhaat,” answered Satiricus, uncertainly. “Why you ask?” “Man, me hear Nagga Man call Jaggo Bai…

Read More

Satiricus was very troubled. He’s been following the increasingly bitter debate that followed Prezzie’s bold action to break the political logjam. And Satiricus figured that was a pretty good metaphor, since he’d seen how his uncle dealt with logjams when he brought logs from the interior. Wasn’t pretty – but drastic intervention was necessary. “Wha’ yuh mout’ a hang dong suh laang, fa?” asked Bungi as Satiricus took his seat at the Back Street Bar. “Man, don’t you see how this thing becoming racial?” replied Satiricus. “Which t’ing?” asked Cappo,…

Read More

Satiricus slowly sauntered into the Back Street Bar. The usual steady drone of voices, occasionally punctuated by raucous laughter, was much more animated than normal. After the doldrums of Diwali, Prezzie’s audacious appointment had loosened up tongues even more effectively than the regular flow of spirituous substances. “Suh, Sato me fr’en, tell abee wha guh laang, na?” said Bungi as Satiricus started on his first beer. “Don’t you fellas read the papers?” Satiricus replied a bit gruffly. “But we want the inside scoop, man,” said Hari. “From your newspaper sources…

Read More

Satiricus was still in shock. He was relaxing in his hammock after a humungous dinner, reading about how Pressie had gone ahead and picked his own man for the Elections Chair. Why? The picking had taken so long, Satiricus was beginning to wonder whether it was really for the “Electric Chair”. After all, the fella who last occupied the Chair always had his hair standing straight up! Satiricus started to doze, and suddenly he was reading Pressie’s diary! Dear Diary, People are saying I should give reasons for picking Batterson…

Read More

Satiricus was bored. He was skimming the TV channels and chanced upon that documentary on Whitney Houston. Now, if there was one singer who’d hit Satiricus’s sweet spot, it was Whitney. But the documentary explained a lot of things – especially why she married “bad boy” Bobby Brown. And thinking about Bobby Brown brought Satiricus a full circle to what had shocked him to the core THAT MORNING: the Pee an’ See people saying it was Prezzie’s prerogative to take PARTY business to State House. Seemed Prezzie was following Bad…

Read More

Satiricus walked over to the Back Street Bar with an added bounce to his step. His old buddy Cappo was back, and it wasn’t just that he was taking care of the beer, he was giving his friends the lowdown on life in the Big Apple and beyond. “Budday! Ah wan good t’ing me lef,” Cappo said as they settled down to bend their elbows. “Look how dem maan close de estate!” “But now you’re back, what will you do?” asked Hari. “They’re looking for cane cutters at the remaining…

Read More

Satiricus was still on a roll now that his old buddy Cappo had returned from his (illegal) sojourn in New York. He, Cappo, was keeping the fellas’ throats quite lubricated at the Back Street Bar with the greenbacks he’d brought back. That he also regaled them with his life and times in the Big Apple didn’t hurt. Cappo, on the other hand, was interested in what had gone down in his native land in his absence. Thus, the conversation and the beer flowed like Amaila Falls. “Suh wha’ time Rum…

Read More

Satiricus was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to get over to the Back Street Bar. His buddy Cappo had returned from New York, where he’d been holding out for the past year. And “holding out” it was, since he’d been there illegally, having overstayed on his visitors’ visa. And then again, all the beers would be on him! “Cappo!! Man, you look real shine!” Satiricus exclaimed at his old friend as they gave each other a bear-hug. “Yuh see de man fancy wris’-wa’ch?” said Cappo’s old cane-cutting partner Bungi proudly. “’e…

Read More

Satiricus was incensed. He was incensed because his leader, Rum Jhaat, was incensed. Rum Jhaat was incensed because he was in charge of the Police and things weren’t regula with his “boys”. In fact, things had gotten so bad there wasn’t a day when his dirty laundry wasn’t hanging out in the front pages of the dailies. It made for uncomfortable moments for Satiricus at the Back Street Bar. “Suh wha’ yuh leadah seh ‘bout de drugs wha disappear fram de CID affice?” Bungi wanted to know. “Bungi, why you…

Read More

atiricus was in a good mood. Since his in-laws lived “across the river”, he was forced to schlep weekly across the decrepit “floating bridge”. This always tested his fortitude. Satiricus swore the bridge was kept going by a combination of welds and spit, since there was not an occasion he’d crossed when there weren’t always workmen blocking his path. They were always bent over, welding and spitting. But now there was going to be a new concrete bridge! “Halleluiah!!” he exclaimed to his buddies at the Back Street Bar. “I’ll…

Read More