Satiricus is furious. With himself, that is. Why’d he have to be toiling away in the newspaper trenches, placing his life on the line every day, while others were so much better off? If you think he’s exaggerating, try badgering sources for news while wining and dining them in fancy restaurants seven days a week. It’s hell on the liver, not to mention the waistline. Anyhow, back to the matter at hand. If only he’d been a worker in the Public Service, he would’ve been on easy street. He would…
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Manly picketing?
Satiricus was inspired. Red Thread had just picketed Parliament wanting to know why the women parliamentarians were not representing “grassroots” women. Good for them! This was the ‘new dispensation’, wasn’t it? He’d never quite thought about politics this way. But if it was good enough for women, it should be good enough for men. No? It was high time he spoke to his buddies to put some pressure on male parliamentarians. God knows that the fellas in the backstreet dive were grassroots enough! “Look how they only debating about committees,”…
Read MoreStirring Sugar
Satiricus likes sugar. It is not that he is a ‘sweet man’, but his cuppa tea must have its two or three spoons of sugar stirred in. So Satiricus takes an interest in what goes on in sugar. When the fellas in the cane fields start to down their tools, he began to feel withdrawal symptoms just thinking what might be down the road. More of that Guatemalan sugar that tasted like mud! He was therefore quite grateful that Ram Jhaat Tan and the KFC got involved with the striking…
Read MoreMistaken Identity
Satiricus is not easily shocked. As a veteran of the newspaper wars, he’s heard and seen it all. Or so he thought – until now. How dare his newspaper GTimes think, much less tell people that the YC-Tea was moving away from APANU? So what if the new kid that replaced 0.007 Bond said so? Heck! This was politics: yes was no and no was yes. APANU and YC-Tea came from the same womb. What was actually going on? “Is tactics, Bai. Tactics!” Cappo looked squarely at Satiricus. “Why yuh…
Read MoreUnspoiled Poverty
Satiricus is still fuming: the smoke keeps coming out of his ears. He can’t get over the nerve of Jagdeo. If the Muckraker KN is to be believed (and Satiricus held that institution in only slightly – very slightly – lower esteem than all his sacred books) Jagdeo had just donated three “Barbados” worth of real estate to Wansa Mc AL. Where did Jagdeo get off? Didn’t he realise that we love our “potential”? What’s with all this running around the world to get investment to develop that potential? Read…
Read MoreReturn of the Riggers
Satiricus is aghast. President Ramotar had accused the APANU/ KFC of rigging the last elections! Satiricus is not shocked by the accusation. He is shocked the president appeared shocked that the APANU/ KFC had rigged. ‘Satiricus’ point being that as an old hand in the politics business, the president should know that rigging was an integral part of the heritage of the PNCEE. Did he think that just because it changed its name to the APANU and now joined with the KFC, it would abandon its birthright? The nerve! “Listen…
Read MoreOut of the Closet
Satiricus is proud of Ram Jhat Tan. After years of denial, he’s finally out of the closet. In the beginning, he used to hit out at “them”; he denied even being one of them. He was different. But deep down Satiricus knew better: he had been around quite a while now. These were just the symptoms of someone ashamed of his impulses; knew that it was not copasetic but just couldn’t help himself. Ram Jhaat Tan was what he was and he loved power: so what was wrong if he…
Read MoreCricket Plan
Satiricus is a red-blooded Caribbean Man. That means he has the red from the cricket ball in his veins; not to mention arteries. He was very teed at the government at the moment: they just didn’t get the master plan of the WICB (and of course, the local GCB) to take over world cricket once again. Look at how they were messing things up by imposing an IMC to ‘reorganise’ local cricket when everything was going to plan! ” Leh me tell yuh something; abee people na think like white…
Read MoreThe Race Guru
Satiricus was pleased. He was happy that Ram Jhaat Tan had gone to T&T and told them “Third Parties” were the way to solve their racial problem. Those uppity Trinis were too full of themselves. They wouldn’t even accept they had a race problem. They were always looking down their noses at Guyanese because of our race problem. “Ah tell you boy, dem KFC fellas ain’t selfish at all.” Anant was Trini and visiting Guyana with the latest chutney show that is now a weekly feature here. He was a…
Read MoreGrowing fat and lazy
Satiricus was flummoxed. He’d always held, almost as an article of faith, that the drive for survival was the strongest instinct in all animals – including man. Didn’t they say that even a cornered puppy will fight? So he was more than a bit puzzled at the laid back attitude of the PPP after their reversals in the last elections. “Ai man, tell me something? Is what the PPP doing about bringing back their voters back home?” Kuldeep had been out for a while and that made him even more…
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