Satiricus couldn’t hold back his tears. Wasn’t it wonderful how Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga Man were praising old Speaker Ralfie? Oh, the brotherhood; the camaraderie and the solidarity these men were showing their old comrade. They probably just couldn’t wait to sit down in some rum shop on the East Coast with Ralfie and reminisce about the good old days. “Good old days?” Suresh snorted. “The only thing those fellas have in common is their hatred of Jagdeo.” “Yuh damn right,” agreed Cappo. “None a dem gat de…
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Guyana Goebbels
Satiricus has studied Hitler’s Minister of propaganda, Goebbels rather closely. He figured that anybody who could rile up the supposedly most civilised nation in Europe to exterminate six million Jews should be recognisable. Just in case a new Goebbels spouted his vitriol in Satiricus’ backyard. Goebbels’ formula was simple: tell a lie long enough and everyone will start believing it. Satiricus was therefore roused from his usual laid back attitude when he read the owner of the Muckraker, Glennie repeat Goebbels’ old and dangerous formula. A light went off in…
Read MorePassing motion
Satiricus has horrible memories of passing motions. When he was a little tyke, his mother was a fervent believer and practitioner of regularly making sure that her brood took castor oil, senna pod or Epsom salts. The induced motions were good for the blood, she swore – even as she swore even louder at her snivelling offspring. What made the medicine even more bitter to swallow was that one had to have at least three motions before one could have something to eat. It appears that the opposition controlled Assembly…
Read MoreKilling the Country
Satiricus is an old newspaper hack. He had learnt his craft at the knees of the old legends. He was a stickler for the rules: he had literally had his head “cranked” and his ears “wrung” by the oldsters when he transgressed those rules. So he was more than a little concerned when he observed the Muckraker playing fast and loose with the rules. Baddam! the editor-in-chief was one of the old heads. “Bai, wha yuh a tek worries, fa?” consoled Cappo. “Even doh Baddam! come fram de old school,…
Read MoreGuyanese Gandhi
Satiricus accepts that he’s an incorrigible optimist. Some say the cup is half-empty; well, Satiricus only sees it half-full. And, well… yes; he is talking about the PPP’s cup. But seriously folks, when Satiricus saw how Ram Jhaat Tan had not shown up for the NICIL TV debate, he knew that here was a man who just wanted to avoid conflict. The man was head of an organisation named after Gandhi; he was also engaged in politics. Could it be? Were we seeing the birth of the Guyanese Gandhi? “Gandhi??!!”…
Read MoreNew backra
Satiricus didn’t like how this holiday business was going: Arrival Day and Independence Day both fell on Saturdays. What the heck was the point of a holiday if Satiricus didn’t get any free time to hang out with the “fellas”? The Americans had the right idea – schedule holidays on Mondays or Fridays! Satiricus envied his pals in New York who’d be having a blast on their Memorial Day weekend. Three days of sporting! So Satiricus and the gang solved the problem the Guyanese way – they all called in…
Read MoreLogic of Envy
Satiricus is a modest fellow. He knows he has a lot to be modest about – especially when it came to this fancy thing they called ‘logic’. Satiricus pretty did whatever came to his mind – which usually got him into no end of trouble. It seems that what came to his mind naturally, seldom was ‘logical’. So you can imagine Satiricus’ joy when this ‘logic thing’ was explained to him in a series of ads carried by the Muckraker – on some new airline. “Listen chaps, all you have…
Read MoreCommon Ground
Tears welled up in Satiricus’ eyes. Oh! The magnanimity of the man. It was at the meeting with all those parliamentarians from England and Canada who were going to show us how democracy was practiced. Those worthies sure had a lot of practice. The memory of the violent suppression of democracy in Northern Ireland and Quebec tickled at Satiricus’ memory, but he pushed them aside. And then our own Roop na Rain – Cambridge grad and all – stood up and announced that the government and the opposition had to…
Read MoreGuyana’s Saviour
Satiricus is nothing if not profoundly grateful for Dike MaKormack devoting his whole life to saving us benighted Guyanese. There are so many Guyanese who foolishly pine for the British to return. Satiricus figured with the British MaKormack taking care of so many things for us, it’s like they never left. Ah… the comfort of being taken care of by big brother – or is the old ‘mother…’? “Dis GHRO. Ah who and who deh in, man?” Cappo demanded. “All me hear about ah dis MaKormack man. Who ah de…
Read MoreNursery Rhyme
Satiricus readily accepts he’s a political ignoramus. But it appears that his trade union credentials are not anything to write home about, either. He’d just finished listening to that stalwart of trade unionism – only a footstep behind Critchlow, the father of the whole kit and caboodle – Linkan D’Loud. And Satiricus was confused. Linkan had first of all praised the opposition for cutting Gy$ 21 billion from the budget. Okay, Satiricus knew that Lewis was opposition, so no problem there. But then Linkan waded into the government for daring…
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