Category: Satiricus

Satiricus was an old line liberal. For him, individual rights – including the right to protest against the government – trumped everything. He’d been posted to cover a story in Berbice and missed the protests in Agricola. Last he’d heard, the three policemen accused of shooting the kid in Agricola had been charged – with murder. Two had evidently fled the jurisdiction, as they (the police) say and the third was going to be appearing in court. “Budday!!! If deh already charge de fellas who dem seh shoot de bai,…

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Satiricus was a bit puzzled. This was not an unusual situation for Satiricus. He did admit that he wasn’t the brightest bulb around. But he wondered what had happened to Ram Jhaat Tan? With all the missiles and bottles and fires flying from Linden to Agricola, he’d expected to have the Jhaat, as Satiricus called him fondly, in the thick of things, stirring the cauldron. But here it was only NoGel and Naga Man were taking all the limelight. “Ram Jhaat Tan is yesterday news,” smiled Hari. “Like you forget,…

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Satiricus has been around the block and then again. He knows that the PPPEE has done good; but he’s wondering whether after 20 years, they shouldn’t be stepping aside to let the other guys have a chance. Ok, he knows politics isn’t cricket. Errr… well not so different from the new cricket, he realised. Couldn’t imagine Kevin Pietersen stepping aside for anybody!   Anyhow, he decided to float the suggestion to the brain trust. They were quaffing a few in honour of October 5. “Step aside? Step aside?” shrieked Hari in…

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Satiricus is besides himself. Well, after jumping up and down from his sofa during Marlon Samuel’s knock, he might literally be so – in the blur that he probably presented to the rest of the gang looking at the game. How long had he waited for this victory? Happy days are here again for his beloved West Indian cricket. What was next? #1 in test cricket? 50 over World Cup champs? It was now time for the usual post-mortem. The fellas enjoyed this as much as the game. “I feel…

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Satiricus was revelling in the reports of the inquiry. He always liked courtroom dramas. But whenever he went to the courts all he saw were lawyers begging magistrates and judges for ‘mercy’. He understood why people say that lawyers ‘pleaded’ their cases. Anyhow here were lawyers and commissioners fighting to discover the ‘truth’ as to what happened at Linden. Who said you couldn’t get justice in Guyana? “Justice? Justice?” Hari had a querulous tone. “Who looking for justice?” “Man, Sato, is de same thing me does seh,” complained Bungi. “Yuh…

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Satiricus likes a courtroom drama – like he’s said before. So he’s been transfixed by the parade of witnesses before the Linden Commission of Inquiry (CoI). He’d thought the inquiry would’ve been a boring drone with the old, stern commissioners dotting their i’s and crossing their t’s. But here it was, the opposition lawyers grilling the policemen that’ve been on the stand up to now, trying to trip them up. It was Perry Mason all over again! “Perry Mason, me behind!” growled Kuldeep sourly. “Those opposition lawyers are on a…

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Satiricus wondered how the govt could have been so insensitive to the plight of scribblers. Didn’t they bleed? Didn’t they have feelings? Didn’t they have to wake up in the morning and have roti or saltfish and bake? How were they to be kept off the breadlines unless they got paid for their work. Ah… he knew that most people didn’t think scribbling words was work. Didn’t even his own wife sneer that he was sitting around all day and not bringing home much bacon? How could the govt encourage…

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Satiricus, like most Guyanese, is following the U.S. presidential elections rather closely. Fervently, even. He couldn’t imagine that four years has already gone by since Obama had become the first man of colour to become president of the U. S. But to tell the truth, he was a wee bit disappointed. Well, more than a ‘wee bit’. He was very upset. He’d expected so much more from Obama. Well at least that he’d do something for all his illegal relatives in New York. “Bai Sato, tek it easy!” consoled Cappo.…

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Satiricus has a soft spot for Tacama A-gonsay-so. The fella always says it like he sees it. The problem was that what he ‘saw’ was always so outlandish that poor Satiricus as always wondered whether they lived in the same planet, much less the same country. Take that time he defended the gunmen in Buxton who were gunning down people left, right and centre. “Freedom fighters” he called them! Now he claimed the ‘harassment’ of his old comrade David Hands couldn’t be ‘random’. It had to be a conspiracy. By…

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Satiricus never liked the harping on ‘race’ that some people insisted on inflicting on him. Hey! Satiricus went to the market every day with the list that Mrs Satiricus gave him. And he was always shopping among people of all races. No problems there, right? While Satiricus had heard about the race riots in the sixties from his parents, he only knew that while you had a few extremists, most Guyanese wanted to move on. Now this claim that the government was “ideologically racist”! Only stirring up hate. “Why this…

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