Satiricus had experienced the pangs of withdrawal symptoms. No, Satiricus hadn’t stopped bending his elbow and imbibing his ‘waters’. He had solid medical advice that some alcohol taken daily was good for his heart. Satiricus was fond of his heart so he followed the advice religiously: “the boys” supported his regimen. Satiricus had missed the diaries his wife’s niece, maid to the opposition (wasn’t politics rewarding?!) used to filch for his perusal. After some excerpts had been published, the finks had gotten watchful. But on Saturday, they were all out,…
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Friends falling out?
Satiricus was in a quandary. What was he to think? More importantly, what was he to do? He’d been so hopeful about the new dispensation in Parliament. The government needed to be tightened up. The opposition with their one-seat majority would keep them in line. Now it looked like it was all falling apart over the Rodee matter. TratMan the “Talker” was going one way, NAPNU was going in the opposite direction and the KFC, as usual, was up in the air. Satiricus was happy to get his hands on…
Read MoreIt’s my prerogative
Satiricus was still agog. That means ‘bug-eyed’. What was going on with de Speaker of de House? Satiricus fully agreed with LinkKan Lois: who de hell de Speaker think he is? Order in de house? Which house de Speaker talking about? This is a Guyanese House, dammit. This is not the House of Commons. This is not like at Lords, where Satiricus stirred outrage when he once took off his shirt because London for once was hot during a cricket match. What the heck, West Indies was batting also! So…
Read MoreMash and culture
Satiricus was excited. And why shouldn’t he be? He and the fellas were going to be enjoying Mash in a couple of weeks. Let him correct that: he and the fellas and their families were going to be enjoying Mash in a couple of weeks. Satiricus sighed. Back in the day, he’d never gone to Mash, much less take his family. Ah… so much they’d missed. Since then they and their families had picked up so much new culture. In the beginning there was so much to learn but in…
Read MoreMook Lall Diaries
Satiricus was abashed. Here he was calling the owner of the Muckraker “Glennie” Lall for the longest while. But it was only last week he found out from his fellow columnist, the “Bell Crier” that this was just the man’s ‘call name’. Now ‘call name’ is a funny business: some people could get real vex with you if they don’t like the name. So Satiricus will henceforth refer to the man by his real name – as revealed by the Bell Crier – Mook Lall. Nuff respect! Satiricus began to…
Read MoreThe Huge Diaries
Satiricus welcomed the return of the Linden Commission of Inquiry (CoI) to Guyana. Their first sojourn had produced so much drama that Satiricus and his buddies had thought the tape could have been sent up for the Academy Awards. NoGel Huge, Chairman of the KFC, who’s thrown caution to the winds in his quest for fame and a senior counsel nomination, would have been “Most Tragic Actor”. The scene when he’d self-destructed while cross-questioning Senior Superintendent Hitchen, was a classic. Satiricus opened the Huge Diary, expectantly… Dear Diary, I tell…
Read MoreWalking-Dead Diaries
Satiricus was a staunch admirer of PadRick Yarte. Any man who could remain at the head of a union way beyond the retirement age of all its members, who shelled out their money for his well-appointed upkeep, had to be admired. More so since PadRick hadn’t earned a single salary increase for his members since 1999. Satiricus figured that it was PadRick’s incredibly slow way of speaking that kept him in his position: opponents invariably fell asleep during debates with him! Satiricus wondered whether PadRick had written the diary entry…
Read MoreDiaries of The Jhaat
Satiricus had been enjoying the peeks into the diaries of various members of the opposition. Brought to him courtesy of his wife’s niece – five times removed but she still called him ‘poopa’! He’d been allowed a glimpse into what actually made these fellows ‘tick’. But to tell the truth, he didn’t relish looking into the diary he held in his hands. Ram Jhaat Tan – or The Jhaat, as everyone called him – was definitely a sick man. Satiricus felt like he was looking into an open sewer. Dear…
Read MoreBaddam!
Satiricus was an old news hound. So he knew Baddam! from back in the day. The day when the PNCEE used to beat people in the streets so that they ran in the street like ants. And Baddam! would write in the government papers that the people were lazy and the government was just helping them to exercise. Burn Ham used to call him regularly and ream his a55 out when he didn’t put his picture on the front page. Not Baddam!’s picture; Burn Ham’s. Baddam! became twisted. He learnt…
Read MoreFoiled again!
Satiricus was salivating. GrainJa was a very private fella. With his military background and his poker face (did the former situation lead to the latter condition?), Satiricus often wondered what went on behind that stiff exterior. Well, he smirked, he’d find out now. In his sweaty palms he held the diary of the old soldier – and now El Jefe of the opposition. Brought to him by his wife’s niece – five times removed. But she stilled called him “Poopa”. She performed maid service to the newly empowered opposition leaders,…
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