Satiricus sighed. There were so many things people just didn’t get. Look how everyone cussing down Duvid GrainJa and Rum Jhaat – because they didn’t vote for the bill to stop money laundering in Guyana. But they didn’t know what great patriots these men were… how they only thought of what was good for the people and never for themselves. The thought came to Satiricus as he marvelled at the Christmas tree at Rahaman’s Park. He passed it on the way back from his place of toil. Every year, his…
Read MoreCategory: Satiricus
Walking disaster
Satiricus is nothing if not a patriotic Guyanese. His navel-string is buried here and to-help-me-God, he would do anything to help his native land. And so it was, with today (Sunday) being “International Day for Disaster Reduction”, his furrowed brow was testimony to the deep thought he was applying to the question of how to reduce disaster in Guyana. He’d long realised that deep thinking didn’t come naturally to him and so, with discretion being the better part of valour, he retired to the back-street bar to discuss the matter…
Read MoreDem a watch we…
A wave of empathy washed over Satiricus when he read about the Swami who was pulled out of the line in Piarco and harassed. It had happened so many times to him on his way to or through Trinidad. And it didn’t matter to anyone of his hasslers that he had his embossed card identifying him as a “media worker”. In fact from some of the questions thrown at him by fellas who sounded barely literate, they appeared quite affronted that a Guyanese could claim to be a “journalist”. And…
Read MoreThe Exodus
Satiricus was confused. Once again. Satiricus was a man who believed things ought to go the way it was foretold. There was an order to the universe, was his firm conviction. Now while Satiricus might not be the most pious fella out there, he’d attended his fair share of Sunday school classes and if the truth be told, he’d rather enjoyed the stories. He especially liked the battle scenes – of which there were more than enough to satisfy his rather gory youthful imagination. Satiricus had particularly enjoyed the story…
Read MoreRead a book…
Satiricus always liked books. But from an early age he suspected books didn’t like him. But he persisted. And he figured he could read most books pretty good – once they were about people. Satiricus liked reading about people. His goal was to read people like a book. So at 11: 00h last Monday, when Education Minister Priya Manickchand called on everyone to read a book, Satiricus decided to read the Jhaat. Like a book. My life as a Jhaat Me name Rum Jhaat. Ah use to be in the…
Read MoreSound of NoGel falling
Satiricus was perplexed. He’d heard about the conundrum, “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, does it make a sound?” He’d never been able to figure out the answer. But then he knew he wasn’t as smart as most – as for instance the brainboxes in the leadership of the KFC party – notably the Jhaat and Naga Man. They’d solved the philosophical enigma just like that! Well, it wasn’t exactly a tree falling – even though NoGel certainly had the girth of…
Read MoreThe Naga diaries…
Satiricus was having the time of his life. And why shouldn’t he? His favourite cricketing Warriors were at the top of the hill… headed for the semis. “And for the finals,” he grinned to himself. He had a beer in one hand and the diary of the Naga Man in the other. His wife’s trusty niece, maid to the big-time funded opposition, had been a bit lax recently with the purloining of the opposition diaries for his perusal. How was he to keep up with his inside scoops on politics?…
Read MoreExpert
Satiricus was nothing if not aware he wasn’t the brightest bulb around. And if he ever forgot his limitations his buddies (not to mention his dear wife) were only too happy to remind him. So when NoGel Huge, the big time lawyer (who’s about to get “silk” any moment now) promised to bring on an “expert” to clear up all the confusion about the “racism” case, Satiricus breathed a deep sigh of relief. His poor head had been spinning from all the charges and counter charges. Even the first lawyer…
Read MoreMonument fuh so…
Satiricus was inspired. Every country has to have heroes and martyrs. And after a lull of so many years, almost every day heroes were being discovered. And why not? We Guyanese were certainly full of heroes, among other things. But what really moved Satiricus almost to tears was that the discovery of heroes did not end with just some platitude or other. People, left right and centre were constructing monuments to their heroes. That’s right. People were shelling our hard-earned bucks to construct monuments just so the rest of benighted…
Read MoreMarching in shade
Satiricus was pleased that the revolutionary spirit hadn’t disappeared completely from the campuses. He’d seen the articles in the spit press and settled down to find out what was going on. There were so many injustices in the world, he thought. He wondered which one of these outrages the youthful idealists, fired by their solidarity with the oppressed, were protesting. Could it be the Big Brother (more like “Huge Father”) spying the National Security Agency (NSA) was conducting with Google and the other social networks? Was it the cynical power…
Read More