Category: Satiricus

Satiricus always enjoyed the long Easter weekend. He always thanked the Church Fathers who decided — of all the days in the week — to pick the day on which Jesus was crucified to be a Friday. How could they know? The calendar hadn’t even been formed! Knowing that Jesus rose three days later, Easter then had to fall on a Monday. And voila!! “Good Friday” to “Easter Monday” wrapped around the weekend to give the fellas ample time to bend their elbows at the Back Street Bar! “OK Sato!…

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Satiricus was all choked up. He couldn’t believe men with such goodness in their hearts still walked on the face of the earth. If he didn’t let out his feelings soon, he felt he’d burst like a balloon and be splattered all over the walls of the Back Street Bar where he was held up with his usual posse. “Fellas!” he exclaimed breathlessly. “Can you believe in two whole years, the KFC and Pee-an-See have never used the Com-in-de-burg Accord”? “Sato…” said Hari with a worried look, as he swallowed…

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Satiricus was feeling very chipper. After all, in addition to all the goodies that were usually circulated during the Christmas season, there were always the slew of Holidays. Which, this go around, had been increased by one extra day. He and the fellas were seated at their usual table at the back of the Back Street Bar, valiantly trying to counter the rain that just wouldn’t stop. “If people fight fire with fire,” he’d explained to Hari and Bungi when he’d suggested this retreat, “why not fight water with water…

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Satiricus was stumped and his furrowed brow was a dead giveaway to his buddy Cappo, as they nursed their beers in the Back Street Bar. Things were “brown” for Cappo since the sugar factory had stopped grinding and he had to hang up his cutlass for three months. He needed Satiricus to be in a good mood to supply the elixir of life. “Wha’ mek yuh face suhsa-wa, Budday?” he asked with forced jollity. “‘E might lef” suh, yuh know!” “I just can’t figure out how they let Harry get…

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Satiricus was chortling so heartily, his friend Cappo was worried he’d choke and croak on his beer. Outside the Back Street Bar, the crapauds were doing their own croaking now that it’s gotten dark. “Happy Hour” had become croaking hour! “Wha’ suh funny, Sato?”Cappo asked as he signalled the waitress for another beer. “It’s not “funny” funny,” Satiricus replied. “This news is more confirmation that our country is on the move and I’m just so happy,” “Wha’ news da?” inquired Cappo. “Me prappa need some good news.” “Well, the Government…

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Satiricus was smirking like a cat that’d just lapped up a bucket of milk. Cappo looked at him but didn’t say anything and continued chugging his beer. The Back Street Bar was quieter than usual since several of the regulars were off to the dominoes competition in the neighbouring village. The two friends were both dismissive about dominoes being called a “sport” and hadn’t gone on that principle. Cappo knew Satiricus would have to break down sooner rather than later. “Have you read about the fuss some folks are making…

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Satiricus liked weekends. He liked weekends because he could throw back much later into the night at the Back Street Bar. And he liked it even more when someone else was picking up the tab. Filling that role was his cousin Georgie, who was winding down his visit for the Jubilee Bash. Their friend Cappo, the Canecutter was also enjoying the freeness as they created a jungle of beer bottles on their table. “Budday!” said Cappo effusively as he slapped Georgie on the back. “Suh wha’ de lates’.” “The latest,…

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Satiricus was bemused at all the fuss being made about the parking meter installation offered to Georgetown. “This is such a typically Guyanese reaction!” snorted Satiricus to his friend Cappo. “We are so technologically backwards!” They had just settled in their seats at the Back Street Bar and ordered two beers. “Wha’ mek yuh like cuss abee down, Sato?” asked Cappo plaintively. “Me bin visit me buddy in New Yark, you know. And me na see not’ing fancy wid dem parking meter.” “Well, that’s what I’m talking about, Cappo,” Satiricus…

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Satiricus breathed a sigh of relief. All the “long talk” was over in the Budget “debate”. Satiricus really had no time with the first week of this annual ritual. It was just an opportunity for the politicians to “mouth off” and show how much they knew. And even there, they cheated: all excepting a handful of them like Nagga Man, had to read from notes. But this week was the real deal…who was going to get what, when and where – money that is. And while some philosopher claimed “money…

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Satiricus was appalled at the ignorance of his fellow Guyanese. He accepted he wasn’t usually the brightest bulb in the room by any means. But even HE knew what the Chief Talker in the National Talk Shop was talking about when he said “Green and yellow are the colours of the National Flag” – our dear, old Golden Arrowhead. And that the Opposition mustn’t “lampoon” our beloved flag. Now Satiricus knew lampooning was bad. You can’t go around mocking people using biting sarcasm and wit. Like those folks who keep…

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