Apartments

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was chortling so heartily, his friend Cappo was worried he’d choke and croak on his beer. Outside the Back Street Bar, the crapauds were doing their own croaking now that it’s gotten dark. “Happy Hour” had become croaking hour!

“Wha’ suh funny, Sato?”Cappo asked as he signalled the waitress for another beer.

“It’s not “funny” funny,” Satiricus replied. “This news is more confirmation that our country is on the move and I’m just so happy,”

“Wha’ news da?” inquired Cappo. “Me prappa need some good news.”

“Well, the Government is going to solve this housing shortage once and for all?” Satiricus announced.

“Me naundastaan something, Sato,” confided Cappo. “Dis country papulationna grow fuht’irt’y year, dem PPCEE guvmentgi’e out 60,000 house an’ lat, and abee still gat “housin’ shartage?”

“That’s always the problem with you Cappo,” said Satiricus sternly. “It’s not just a matter of “house”…It’s what kind of house.”

“Me naknowwha’ de arseyuha ta’k about,” replied Cappo, “Wan house na wan house?”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Cappo,” smiled Satiricus knowingly. “These are modern times – and Guyanese want modern houses!”

“An’ dis guvmentguhbuil’ modurn house?” asked Cappo in disbelief.

“That’s right!! And that’s why I was chuckling just now,” said Satiricus with a wide grin. “You didn’t read the Muckraker?”

“Na…me na read Muckraker namo’,” confessed Cappo. “Dem a jus’ cuss people too nasty!”

“Well, Minister Bull Kan said he’ll be building apartment buildings to house the poor,” gloatedSatiricus. “One apartment building will hold hundreds of poor people!”

“Really?” asked Cappo with raided eyebrows. “Me see deykinda apartment fuh pore people in Brooklyn w’en me visit me buddy in NyuYark.”

“So what you think, boy? Guyana will become like New York, eh?!” Satiricus was almost beside himself with excitement.

“Yes…Jus’ like NyuYark,” said Cappo slowly. “Dem pore people apartment buildin’ gat mo’ gyangdanabeesugah estate!”

“Gangs?” said a suddenly serious Satiricus.

“Eh he.NuffGyang! Dem young bais a kill an’ raab an’ rape an’ use dope all de time!” said Cappo, shaking his head. “De place tu’n like wan slum.”

“Come to think of it…I saw those apartments in the movies,” admitted Satiricus. “They call them “Projects””

“An’ now all de good people wan fuh own dem own house,” concluded Cappo. “Like wha’ de PPCEE use fuh help pore people buil’ yaa-suh.”

Satiricus became very quiet.

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