… facing the tough times together
We find love sometimes in the most unexpected ways and unpredictable moments. That’s what happened to two persons many years ago. Their union evolved into a beacon of love, commitment and endurance, qualities Shanta Singh and her husband Ramsagar Singh now hold especially dear. This love story, recalled by Shanta, looks back at her arranged marriage to the most wonderful person.
Shanta, 58, and Ramsagar, 68, grew up together in the village of Grove. They lived about a street away from each other and attended the same church. Sharing their story with the Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Shanta recalled that Ramsagar would visit her home regularly because her parents favoured him due to his maturity and esteem. She recalled that he would take her to Sunday school on his bicycle and would carry her home in his arms when she slept away in church, but she had no idea he liked her.
“I had no clue, nor did my parents, that he liked me,” she reminisced. “Of course being ten years older than me, it didn’t occur he would like me. I can remember when one of my sisters-in-law asked him when he was getting married, and he told her that the person wasn’t mature enough as yet and that he has to wait. I didn’t think he would want to marry me because he was more educated than I am. I only went to primary school and didn’t get to complete that level because my family was very poor.”
When Shanta got older, Ramsagar expressed his interest in her. Shanta said her mother was overjoyed because she really admired his character and would always say he would make a wonderful husband.
“When I was 15, he was 25, we got engaged. That made my mother very happy because she admired him for having all the qualities of a good husband. At first I didn’t agree to get married to him because I said I was too young and that he was way older. I didn’t know anything about love or relationships. But my mother sat me down and told me that he is a good person and he would take care of me. Of course, long ago, you had to listen to your parents, and so I eventually gave in. Ramsagar waited two more years, when I was 17, and we got married on February 19, 1977. He was a supervisor back then and later he became a teacher. He even taught me how to read. I then realised that my mother’s decision for me to marry this wonderful man was right all along,” Shanta revealed.
Eventually, Shanta’s ‘like’ for Ramsagar turned into love, and their marriage was as if it was etched in heaven itself. She grew to love him completely, but Ramsagar’s love went as far back as when he took that peaceful, sleeping girl home from church in his arms.
There were challenges when they got married, but Shanta and Ramsagar’s mutual love for each other and for God helped pull them through. Shanta said they would read the bible and pray together, and she credits that for solidifying their bond.
However, when the couple decided to move to Suriname, seeking better opportunities, life challenged the union.
“After we had two of our sons, we decided to go to Suriname to seek a better financial opportunity for my family,” she recalled, “When I got my third son, in Suriname, about 1986, was when my husband lost his job. It was tough times. My two other sons were 5 and 6. My husband was doing menial work and although it was tough, we endured together. We had no other support, and many days would have nothing to eat. In the mornings I would drink sugar water just to get something in my stomach. My third son, who was breastfeeding, had to drink sugar water too because we didn’t have money to buy milk. We ensured that the two older sons get to eat and my husband and I would stay without. That’s when my front teeth began to rot and I had to pull them out. I was without four of my front teeth for about three years; of course I couldn’t afford dentures. I felt ashamed of it, but my husband would tell me that God made me beautiful and that he [Ramsagar] loves me just as I am. Ramsagar would assure me that one day will come when I’ll get my teeth fixed and I’ll look more beautiful. That really carried me through all those years. My husband remained faithful for all the years we have been married and I’m truly lucky to have a great guy like him,” Shanta shared.
Ramsagar always commended Shanta for being a person of character and for her inner and outer beauty – reasons why he married her. Additionally, he told this publication, he has never regretted marrying Shanta as she turned out to be the perfect mother and wife – his perfect soul mate.
Looking back at the many years of an enjoyable marriage, Shanta said her advice to young wives like she was, is to be content with what their husbands can provide. Being contented, she pointed out, is one of the many factors that contributed to the peace of her marriage.
“Don’t look at what other women possess and what you lack, because then you may be inclined to pressure your husband and that can create problems. Being contented with what you have contributes to a peaceful marriage. Communication and trust are also essential for a happy marriage. Not forgetting having God in your marriage and praying together as a couple,” Shanta advised.
Now, Shanta and Ramsagar enjoy a beautiful marriage filled with love and memories of a wonderful life together. They have five children and eight grandchildren. (Guyana Times Sunday Magazine)
