By Leah Hernandez
Millions of children worldwide are fortunate enough to have a father figure in their lives, while others can only dream of having that man we call a “father”. This contrast often times leads most of us to ask: “what is a father?” and “who is a good father?”.
The simplest definition of the word father is “An important male figure in the origin and early history of something”, but, most importantly, being a good father means being an endless role model and making all the difference in a child’s life, as you are a pillar of strength, support, and discipline.”
To celebrate and recognise the contributions fathers and father figures make to the lives of their children, the third Sunday in June of each year is, therefore, set aside as the time to celebrate Father’s Day. With great enthusiasm and anticipation surrounding this day, I was fortunate to interact with one father who had his goal set on being a “good father”.
Ignatius Hernandez like some of us presently was not raised by a father who was a perfect example of the title given, but rather one who was an alcoholic and gave less attention to the welfare of his family. This father of four related to me that, as a child growing up, he vowed never to be like the man whom he saw most of his life, but somewhere along his life’s journey it happened.
“When I used to see him drunk, I used to say in my mind I would never drink or be like him. As I grew, I did not want to follow his example, his role as a father was not really one to take example from, he did not have that impact or positive influence on me… [but I] started drinking when I was 18, It was my own choice, then I became addicted to it,” a thoughtful Hernandez related.
According to my 57-year-old father, even though he walked in the shoes of his father for some time, the thought of him being a potential father and having a family of his own motivated him to desire a change, as often times he would reflect on the words “I would never drink or be like him”, while he further credited the desire for change to Christianity.
“I knew it was wrong and I desired a change, but because of the habits and cravings for it, it was there and I couldn’t stay without it, but I wanted to be a better father from the one I grew up with.”
In the midst of our interesting conversation, I asked my father what are his thoughts about playing the role of father figure in a child’s life, and in the most appealing voice, he responded, “If you want to be a better father, you have to be an example, having an impact on your family, because you cannot lead without being that example … the role of a father is being a security, it’s a breadwinner, a foundation to the family, an example where the whole family looks up to you and you are honoured and respected.”
After this, I went on to ask him how he personally felt about being a father to us (his four children), and again, but this time in a more eager voice, he responded in the briefest way possible, saying it is a blessing to be a father.
“Being a father isn’t something I would say is easy, but I’m happy to be a father, because besides the responsibility and being tough, it’s still a blessing. I can stand up and joyfully declare I have fulfilled my responsibilities as a father,” he said.
Finally realising that our conversation would soon be over, I quickly implored him for some advice that he would want to share with present and potential fathers on how to be a good dad. This is what he carefully uttered to me: “To those fathers, be a foundation, bear your weight which means take responsibility, be interested in the welfare of your children … if all fathers take their stand, this world would be strong, a better community, a better country, we will have better children and strong families.”
My father concluded his answer with a famous quote which states: “Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy”- Anonymous.
